Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why I Love Coffee Shops

Hello everyone, everywhere! The weather was so perfect today. It actually felt like autumn and reminded why I love it this season much. The sad part is that it's almost the end of November and the leaves shouldn't be in their golden (red) prime right now. The leaves should've fallen off a long time ago and the air should have held a sort of bittersweet memory of autumn. I love this type of weather though, where you can wear a sweater and maybe a scarf and feel toasty warm.
Today, I went on a lunch "date" (I don't know what to classify it as). Maybe you guys are up to date with my life. So my friend was talking to me and she's really nosy. We were talking about the movies and I was telling her how I still need to see Wreck It Ralph. My friends are out of town and going to the movies by yourself is pretty boring so she suggested I watch it with TG (still looking for a new nickname..). I told her we were doing something on Wednesday so she'd stop pestering me.... but I should have seen how that made it worse. She wanted to know exactly what and how so AS A JOKE I said to ask him. She's friends with him but it's questionable to how close they are. He told her Korean lesson which is also what I thought. And then he invited her apparently. I was pretty sassy after that. I thought it was something special between me and him: EXCLUSIVE. It reinforced the reality that it was a hang-out. Well anyways, she didn't come haha. 

So I brought this book that I brought from my volunteer for him. I thought that we were having lunch/lesson. It turned out we were just having lunch after like a 10 minute glance of the book. It was really enjoyable and I learned how strange/slow I eat muffins. We were in a coffee shop by the library and it was almost like there was no one else in that coffee shop. I'm sure we were pretty annoying to all the other people. That's the general reaction I get when I go to coffee shops with other people... Like in Korea we decided to play an obnoxious Korean game in this nice coffee shop by the ocean. And then we walked around from that coffee shop to downtown. Maybe the best thing was that it wasn't awkward. It was maybe a perfect day. 

I love coffee shops because you can just talk. You learn things you didn't know and figure out if it's fun being with that person or not. If you go on movie "dates" (quotations are at the discretion of the reader),   then you aren't really spending time with them. Yes, you're in the same room but it's not a personal activity. I've always been in love with the idea of having "dates" at coffee shops even if coffee gives me a slight migraine and stomachache. You may also realize this if you read my Coffee Shop series. If you read my writing at different times, you can tell my mood which I think is so amazing about writing. Unlike math, you are putting your emotions into it and creating something that really means something to you. I started writing Coffee Shop really late at night during the summer when my life was absolutely romance-less. 

I read through all my "Wednesday Advice" posts and realized that they are almost all about "being yourself" or "let things happen"so I'm going to try to say something different. Be forward and know what you want. It is looked down upon for girls to do anything but seriously . . .  I love analogies so let's use one (a non-biology related analogy! OMG). Let's say you're playing a game of tennis. You have to serve the ball in order to get the game started, especially if you're the one who wants to play. It's up to the other person to decide if they want to return the ball and you can't really do much about that. If they do, then you might have a game going. 

Since I do love biology, let's get a biology analogy in there. You're job as the interested girl (or guy, do guys read my blog? honest question) is to send the signal that will be received by a receptor (G-protein coupled receptor maybe). If the signal is sent to the right receptor, then the signal transduction begins (G-protein coupled receptor kicks a G-protein to adenylyl cyclase which makes cAMP, which is the second messenger, and that cAMP is sent to a kinase that adds phosphate to a transcription factor using ATP and that is the end result). So moral of the story is that you are in charge of sending the signal and the other person is in charge of receiving it. 

I watched a lot of "how to tell if he likes you videos", that is an embarrassing secret between you and me (and I guess the blog world). One thing is the same in every video/blog post/etc and that is, if he likes you then he'll make an effort to spend time with you and get to know you. If you watch He's Just Not That Into You (one of the best movies ever!), there's that great line talking about this. So stop lying to yourself or trying to twist the facts to make it seem like something better. I did that all of freshman year and it turned out that he didn't like me, big surprise. Don't do that to yourself. 

One other piece of advice I have is to not be clingy. It doesn't matter where you are in a relationship (crush-doesn't know I exist, crush-not interested in me, crush-mutual feelings, relationship, etc). Even if he/she does like you, it gets annoying to have five hundred text messages from the same person. It's nice to have a momentary break so that you can live your life and they can live there's. The best couples can spend minimal time together but there's that sense that they are in a happy relationship. They can do their separate things and then do other things together. This includes me too, but restrain yourself from sending out those unnecessary texts. If the person doesn't text back, accept it. Don't send out another text. Don't always text first either. 

So I hope this helps someone. And while you read this, I'll probably be watching a movie, by myself. 

I also had something else I wanted to "rant" about. Guys shouldn't write chick flicks. Sorry, but it's true. I recently read Shop Girl by Steve Martin and it has a lot of positive reviews. There are parts where I think "aw, that's sweet" but there's something so artificial to it. He was so obviously trying and that takes away from the beauty of writing. The beauty of writing is that your emotions are raw and you can convey something that you feel. The best writing comes from experience. Steve Martin wrote things in such a guy perspective. The one thing I learned while reading it (other than that guys shouldn't write chick flicks) is that girl chick flicks are a completely different universe from what he wrote; which goes to show the huge difference in how our minds work. The one thing that Steve Martin failed to understand while writing this is that chick flicks are not works of art. They go in the "junk food category" of books. He tried to write something meaningful, the things that are found in Pulitzer Prize novels, and combine the genre chick flick. It just didn't work and it sort failed in both aspects. Sometimes, compromise works like that. Neither party is fully satisfied which leads to World War II (in one case).  I'll end on that note. xx 

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