Thursday, December 20, 2012

Surprise! & Winter Break!


Hello everyone! Guess what? My super cool font might be back? Isn't that an added bonus? I figured it out! I'm using Georgia from now on. I don't think it makes much of a difference but still, I'm happy. It's my winter break starting tomorrow. I just have one short half day between me and winter break. I have 0 motivation which is BAD. I've pretty much been making Christmas cards all this time. . . So I was talking to one of my friends and there are a lot of things I want to do during winter break. My mind works best with charts and this kind of thing compared to more and more words.
Things I want to do:
1. Ice skating! 
2. Watching movies at the theater
3. Eat at a fancy restaurant 
4. Seeing the giant Christmas tree at Union Square, San Francisco 
5. Read chick flicks
6. Watch korean dramas (School 2013 anyone?) 
7. Visit an art museum! 
8. Drink hot chocolate (or any of those things stated above) with someone special. Can I make it any more obvious? 
9. Go on a fun trip! 
10. Get a hair cut. 
11. Write lots and lots of things that I don't ever have time for. 
12. SKI! I'm still a Coloradan at heart. (Is that proper?)
13. See a musical. 
14. Sleep. 

Things I probably will do:
1.Skate on the frosted grass! That's as close to snow as it gets. 
2.Eat ramen by myself. 
3. Google pictures of the giant Christmas tree in Union Square and wish I was there. 
4. I will read Moby Dick and finish it. Only . . . 85 chapters left!
5. I will probably watch korean dramas and movies that I never have time for by myself, bawling my eyes out. Wonderful. (this also covers the #2 of my want to do list)
6. Google art at best? I don't see that happening. 
7. I will drink hot chocolate. .  with myself! Even better right? I wish I had a cat. 
8. Fun trip that will consist of going to my tutor's house. YES! SAT! OMG! So excited. Even better than going to Korea for winter break. 
9. I probably will get a hair cut! 
10. I can see myself writing at preposterous hours because you can't put a time on inspiration and creativity. 
11. Hmm... I don't see this one happening either. I will skate on the frosted grass instead. 
12. Nope. Not happening. 
13. Sleep? What is sleep? 

Heheh. I hope you felt slightly amused. What will you do during winter break?
And now, I did work on a chapter! Long time, no Coffee Shop, but here it is! Enjoy! xx How did I get the font like this? I am so incredibly happy! How? How? How? Does anyone know?


Amongst The Chaos
Dani wished she didn’t have to wake up, ever. She wasn’t suicidal but just wished that maybe she could stay in her dreams forever. The magenta in her hair had long faded but she hadn’t the energy or desire to dye it back. She just wanted to fit in and be normal. It had already been a year since she had last seen Noah. He visited her a couple times but their reunions were marked with painful memories and painful goodbyes. She was a junior in high school in Sacramento, again living with her dad and stepmom. Her mother was living in the house next to them. After her car crash she had never fully recovered and Dani blamed it entirely upon herself. Dani herself was never the same after returning. Her heart belonged in New York. She was an empty shell but there was nothing that anyone could do. Her mother, her real mother, was frightened by this sudden change in Dani’s personality but didn’t have the words to convey. Cassandra tried to plan mother-daughter bonding days but they were met with anger and shouting. Dani had truly managed to isolate herself. 
“Danielle, what are you dreaming about now?” Dani shook herself awake and stared at her teacher, Mrs. Plums. Dani just shrugged as her fellow classmates giggled. They hated her more after she returned and never fully believed that she had a gorgeous boyfriend named Noah. They thought she had even gone the lengths to photoshop the pictures of the two of them. Dani had given up on trying to convince anyone. Only Peggy was really there for her. The story of her arrival wasn’t even worth explaining. 
“Nothing,” she meekly answered.
“She was probably just dreaming about her fake New York boyfriend.” The class erupted in more laughter. Dani sighed. She had once tried to prove that he was a real person. He mailed her things every so often; things like shoes, bags, and gummy candy. Those gossipy girls thought she was mailing herself things just to keep the story up. They even started to steal things that came in her mailbox. She had to eventually ask Noah to stop mailing her things. She had even told him that she had a new boyfriend here. He wouldn’t be able to move on with life if he still had her in his mind. She had already sacrificed her happiness for that of Claire’s and it was only right that Noah be able to enjoy of some of the benefits. 
“The winter ball is coming up,” Peggy said with a smile after class. Peggy had changed a bit over the year. A lot of her piercings had disappeared and she had a nice, steady boyfriend, named Matt. He was a clean cut guy who didn’t engage in drugs or alcohol and even convinced Peggy to stop drinking. Dani could only feel that her own levels of maturity and growth were rapidly decreasing. She remembered her mother had said that Dani should make other friends when she first met Peggy. Her mother said that Peggy was the type of girl who would get into some sort of big accident. 
“Has Matt asked you yet?” Dani tried to smile for Peggy. “He can be so romantic sometimes.” That was a total lie. Matt was a nice guy but he was probably also the most boring guy. His favorite class was computer programming and they only ever went on movie dates. Dani knew that Peggy clung onto to Matt because she wanted a sense of normality. 
“Not yet, but he said he had something really special planned tonight,” Peggy said with a bright smile. She was almost glowing from happiness and Dani sighed. Tonight was supposed to be a movie marathon at Peggy’s house. Dani had counted on it as a way of escaping a night with her own family. 
“What about our movie marathon?” Dani couldn’t help but mention it. 
“Dan, we’ll do it another day. When have you been so serious about those things?” Dani just politely smiled and refrained from saying anything. When had she started doing that? Peggy was the one person she could probably speak her mind to. “Have you thought about dating anyone here?” Dani just rolled her eyes. Lately, this had been a hot issue between them. 
“What? You know that I’m not ready to leave Noah.”
“He’s probably dating some hot girl back in New York, Dani. Face it. When was the last time he talked to you? And plus you told him you were dating some guy here so why not actually do that?”
“I made a promise to him that I wouldn’t date someone here.”
“And I made a promise to keep my virginity. That’s the type of thing you say naturally at an airport. It’s not the type of thing you keep true to.” 
“What? When did you lose your virginity? I said I had a boyfriend to protect him, not to actually get a boyfriend, Pegs.” 
“I’ll tell you later. I have to get to class.” Peggy actually left her hanging by the classroom. Dani shuffled to her own classroom but couldn’t stop thinking about what Peggy was saying. Maybe it was time to move on. It had been a year and Noah hadn’t even called her once in the past six weeks. 
“Dani?” She turned around to see Nathan. She had been infatuated with him before she left for New York. All the girls had been and still were. She hadn’t seen him after she had returned though. They just didn’t have classes together and were in completely different social groups. 
“Hi Nathan,” she said trying to pull of a casual smile. 
“I didn’t know you came back.”
“You didn’t hear the million rumors?” Her heart was beating, fast. She could barely say a coherent sentence. Dani looked up with a sudden little smile. She should’ve felt a little guilty. 
“No,” he said with a smile of his own. The bell rang in the background and Dani nodded her head. 
“I guess I better go. See you around.” Words were just words. She didn’t really intend of seeing Nathan again. Was that how Noah felt at the airport? Maybe Peggy was right. But why did everyone have to always like the popular guy? Why couldn’t see fall head over heels for a guy who wouldn’t cause her to have a notorious reputation?
“Okay,” he said. She walked off quickly hoping that it really wasn’t the last time she saw him around. 
Vanessa stared at her phone again, for the millionth time. She was sitting in a bustling cafe all alone. It was a new hot spot that had erupted in popularity like some fad. No one knew when the fad would be over so they were all lining up to step into the limelight before the popularity faded. She was an Atkins so securing a spot had been easy. After Claire’s insistence, she decided to give Stephen another chance. She questioned her sanity. She missed Dani but every time she sent a message there wouldn’t be any response. Claire didn’t want to talk about Dani and always slightly broke down to tears whenever her name was mentioned. Noah was always pestering her about Dani and she felt like the messenger stuck in between. He had become a satirical person and Vanessa missed seeing him smile. 
It was already an hour past the time that Stephen had agreed to meet her. Vanessa was shivering in the cold even if her Hermes scarf was wrapped around her neck. She even came ten minutes late just to show up fashionably late. The waiter was glancing at her nervously. She finally ordered a pasta from their trendy picks and handed her menu in. She ate slowly with hope that New York traffic was horrible or that the subway had a technical issue. She had been stuck in the subway for an hour or two the last time there was a major issue with one of the doors not closing. Maybe he was going through something like that. His cell service wasn’t working and that might explain why he wasn’t calling her. She sighed. How many times had she said that for Ryan? Claire never complained that Ryan was late to a date or that he blew her off. She wondered if she would be a lonely cat lady or a really unhappy married woman. 
She was about to leave when she saw Stephen. Her food had already been taken away by that nervous waiter and she had ordered a coffee too just to prolong her visit. She had drank about half of it. He was out of breath and maybe the subway explanation still worked. At least he showed up like he had sprinted to see her. She wondered where he had been. Him showing up about three hours later was better than not showing up, right? He had buttoned his jacket wrong. The buttons had been shifted one up and then she had that terrible feeling in her stomach. Was he in a rush? Had he forgotten about their date. He was holding wilted flowers for her. Flowers did wilt from a long ride on a subway but she had an irking feeling that this wasn’t the case.
“Hi, Stephen,” she said pausing to smile. “I didn’t think you were coming.” She lifted up her clutch bag and dusted off her dress. She was wearing stockings and three inch heels and some of her favorite jewelry. She had tried. Ironically it was the jewelry that Ryan had gotten her when things weren’t so bad between them.  No one knew that though and she had gotten a boatload of compliments whenever she wore it. She had dressed to the nines for a date that hadn’t happened. Her mouth was taut with disappointment. 
“Vanessa, I’m so sorry! These are, were for you. Well, I mean they still are for you.” She waited patiently to hear his excuse.  “This girl named Sasha needed help with something and I was over there-” 
“What?” She just rolled her eyes in frustration. “What did she need help with?” 
“Her lamps were broken, Nessa.”
“Are you being serious right now? If you wanted to be with her then why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I’m sorry, Nessa.” There wasn’t even any other explanation, just defeat in his voice. Vanessa felt the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. 
“Just remember, don’t call me next time.” He stood there with his flowers dying in his hands. She flipped over her sunglasses and left the cafe. At least she made a cool exit. It had been a waste of time after all. When was the last time she had actually felt giddy for a date? The memories of being disappointed and sad were fresh in her mind. He was standing there still gaping at her and she felt better about everything. It was her who was leaving him behind. Never again would she ever wait for someone so patiently like she did for Ryan. She didn’t have any reason to excuse Stephen for what he did to her. How was Sasha better than her? This was decreasing her own value. Her phone was constantly buzzing from apology messages that she didn’t even want anymore. All he did was apologize which meant that he had done something wrong.  Vanessa threw her purse into the back seat of the town car and applied a fresh coat of lipstick. She wondered what to do with the rest of her day. She blocked his number with a bittersweet smile. Vanessa had wanted this to work out but she didn’t feel pain wrenching her heart apart. Was she just a cold, emotionless person? She called Claire. 
“Hi Claire.” 
“Hey Ness. How’d it go?”
“He stood me up but I definitely made a star exit. Maybe your friend Lillian can hook me up with some movie contracts. I’d be perfect for the part.” Her voice was riddled with sarcasm.  
“Why did he stand you up?”
“He was hanging out with Sasha. I’m pretty sure they slept together. His cited reason was because of her broken lamps. Maybe that was an excuse to get together in the dark.”
“Vanessa, I have to tell you something later, when you get home.”
“Do you know any single guys without anything to do?” 
“Actually, I do. Stephen has a friend. They’re supposed to meet up in two hours or so. Ryan declined to go, that’s why I know.” Claire said. She sounded a little guilty. Vanessa immediately dialed this mystery guy. They had a nice conversation and Vanessa didn’t even feel that bad. She directed the driver of the town to drop her off at the nearest coffee shop. Coffee shops were a great way to introduce yourself. 
Chris Hawkins wondered what luck it was that a Vanessa Atkins called him. She wanted to meet with him about some matter or two and he didn’t really care about the details. The most important part was that she wanted to meet with him. He was a big picture type of guy. He slung a tie around his neck and made sure to spray a decent amount of cologne. The coffee shop she chose was right outside his house. Maybe she lived around here. He had heard some good things about her, mostly from Ryan Nichols since they went to the same school. He parked his car around the curb and saw a gorgeous girl sitting in the cafe. Was this her? He couldn’t help staring at her long, exposed legs. He walked in and she waved over at him. Had they met before?
“Hi, I’m Chris,” he said as he sat across from her. “Let me treat you.” She smiled. He knew this type of girl pretty well. He knew before he even asked that it was implied that he would be buying the coffee. Vanessa had a beautiful smile. 
“Vanessa,” she said cheerily. “It’s so wonderful meeting you. I’ve heard just the best things about you. My friend Claire is dating Ryan Nichols and you know, she thought I should meet you. I like peppermint mochas by the way.” This was a good thing. 
“Okay,” he said getting up from the table to order their drinks. A few minutes later he carried two peppermint mochas back to their table. “Tell me about you. You seem to know a lot about me.”
“I’m Vanessa and I go to Le Cordon Bleu, Academy if you prefer to be technical. I think that’s about all you have to know.” He smiled. She was his type of girl. Just being with her made him a little bit happier. They talked about nothing for a while. It didn’t seem either one was interested in conversation. 
“Do you live around here?” She asked. He liked forward girls. After wiping her mouth on a napkin, she stared at him with her big brown eyes. 
“Sure, my parents are out for the weekend.” She simply smiled at him as he led her out. He touched the small of her back as he led her to his car. He opened the door and stared at his watch. Stephen would probably show up late again and he had an hour to blow anyway. He turned on some music and dimmed the lights. Vanessa was sitting on the couch and her shoes were already thrown away on the carpet. He took a seat next to her and inched his face closer to hers. 
“Do you want something to drink?” He was nervous and she sensed it. 
“No,” she said and he impulsively kissed her. She seemed a bit surprised but she batted her eyes with delight. By the end of the hour, his shirt had joined her shoes and her dress was hiked up. They both jumped at the sound of the doorbell. Chris checked his watch. Since when did Stephen show up early? Wasn’t he meeting some girl today? Chris felt annoyed as Vanessa patiently glanced over at the door. Stephen owed him big time. 
“Sorry, I invited my friend over not knowing you’d call.”
“Oh I don’t mind,” she said kissing his cheek. Her hair was a mess and her sticky lipstick had ended up smeared on his face. But he liked this Vanessa just as much as the one he’d seen in the coffee shop. He opened the door carefully and saw Stephen holding a brown bag. It was too dark to see that Chris had forgotten to put his shirt back on. 
“Can you come back?” Chris said opening the door just a peep. 
“Why? Chris, I had the worst day. I brought some Jack,” Stephen said letting himself in. Chris flicked the light switch on. Stephen gave him a weird look before glancing over to the girl on his couch. “Vanessa?” Chris watched Stephen emotionally break down. Did they know each other?
“What is she doing here? You know her?” Stephen sounded angry. 
“Stephen? You know this guy?” Vanessa sounded smug. 
“Vanessa, how could you?” Chris wondered what to do.
“How could I what? Did you seriously think we had something?” 
“Wait, you guys know each other?”  He dumbly asked. His question was ignored. 
“The door is that way, Stephen,” she said. 
“What the hell did I do to you?” 
“What am I doing to you?” 
“Your sleeping with my goddamn best friend!” There was an awkward silence hanging in the air. 
“As much as I enjoyed this, Vanessa, you guys are going to have to sort this out somewhere else. Dude, I didn’t know she was your girl,” Chris said sheepishly. 
“I’m not his girl!” Vanessa quipped as she walked to the bathroom. Chris watched the two of them leave. He sat down on the couch without bothering to wash his own face. He knew he had been used by Vanessa but somehow he didn’t feel angry. 
Claire stared outside the windowsill when Vanessa came in. She had just opened the door and let herself in. Vanessa was a mess. Tears were everywhere and her makeup was beyond repairable. As strong and determined as Vanessa was and appeared, she was still a girl inside. She had feelings and a heart no matter how much she didn’t want people to believe that. Sasha had hurt her twice and Claire wondered what the right thing and the right step was from here. Sasha was obviously ruining their lives because of her. What kind of friend was she? 
“What happened?” Claire asked. Maybe it was time to let Sasha have Ryan for the sake of everyone else. A little voice in her head told her that it was too late for her to do anything but that was also the same voice that told her she’d be nothing without Ryan. 
“He said he never wanted to see me again.”
“That’s not the end of the world, Vanessa.” 
“I was looking for a little bit more sympathy. I called up that guy because I thought Stephen cheated on me. He doesn’t want to see me anymore because he thinks I cheated on him with his friend.”
“I have something to tell you.” Claire took in a deep breath. “Sasha wants Ryan and she said she’d ruin all my friends’ lives. I feel like Dani’s has been thoroughly crushed but I don’t want yours to be either. I don’t know what to do anymore, Ness.” 
“Do you realize that everything isn’t about you, Claire? Dani sacrificed everything in order to spare you your relationship. She gave up her dream so that you could have a boyfriend. You can’t not do anything.” 
“Well, what should I do?” There was a pause in their conversation. Vanessa didn’t seem so sad or angry anymore. She had calmed down. Claire wondered if it was the right move to just give up Ryan now while she still could. 
“I think I have an idea,” Vanessa said thoughtfully. Her idea was interrupted by a loud knocking at their door. Claire opened the door and saw Lillian staring back at her. Claire squealed and hugged her tightly. She hadn’t seen Lillian in forever. 
“Is Andrew here too?” 
“No, sadly, he’s not. He’s busy filming in Europe,” Lillian said blowing a raspberry. “Hi Vanessa.” Lillian dragged her suitcase in and sat down on the couch next to them. 
“So what brings you here?” Vanessa asked with a smile. 
“Maybe you’ll laugh but there was a little episode in my trailer while on set for some minor film stuff. I was just accompanying my dad to one of the shoots and they had generously given me a trailer. My dad told me to leave as soon as possible. He still had to stay in LA and film other things so I flew up and went to the one place I feel comfortable enough going. There’s no way I’m going home when Mrs. Kendrick lives there.” Claire became a pale and discolored. It was time to put an end to this, once and for all. All her friends were suffering because of her. How long was she going to let it continue? 

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