Friday, December 28, 2012

Let's Philosophize

Hello everyone! Happy Friday! It's almost Saturday! The days of the week have really lost their meaning now that I'm on winter vacation. Today I was going to go to a fancy Italian restaurant and it was almost perfect on a family outing. The restaurant opened at 5:30 and we were there by 5:38. There were already no empty tables and the lady at the front said it was about an hour and 20 minute wait since people had just sat down. In dismayed spirits, we ate Chinese food. My fortune cookie said that a pleasant surprise is in store for me soon so we'll see.

I was giving some of my relationship advice to one of my friends. It sounded just like the single and geeky person I am so I wanted to share it with all of you here. Because I am just the right person to get romantic advice from. Enjoy!
Q1. Should you tell a guy that you like him?
A1. Well this question really depends on the person you are and the situation you're in. Guys are pretty dense sometimes and don't take subtle hints well. If you want him to know and feel like he should know, then tell him. For example, Christina really likes Steve. They've been friends for awhile but lately she's been avoiding him and ignoring him because she likes him that much but doesn't want to get hurt. The guy has done nothing wrong and he shouldn't be punished. It's not his fault he doesn't know about your feelings and it's not his fault for not being able to return your feelings either. All you're doing is confusing him and he at least deserves a reason. After you tell him, it's up to him how to feel and you need to give him space.

Q2. When should you tell a guy you like him?
A2. This is also entirely up to you. For me personally, I tell the guy I like him when the want for something to happen is much greater than the fear of being rejected. My friend asked why I didn't just tell TG that I like him like a 21st century girl. The answer was simple. We're just becoming friends and it takes time to establish even that. I don't want to ruin a great friendship that I'm content with for something that would never happen. It's not fair to trade your friendship for rejection. I also made a geeky analogy. Let's say that you have $10. The only options for investing your money in Stock A is all of it or none of it. Why make an investment that you know will fail? That's just walking into the fire. Right now, I'd say I've invested $2 of my $10 and I'm okay with hurting 20% of my feelings. I'm not ready to make myself vulnerable and don't see the reason why either.

Q3. What's the best way to start a friendship?
A3. All relationships start on the basis of knowledge. Not all couples start out as friends but friends is a pretty good place to start unless you're into online dating. You definitely get a better sense to who a person is when you're friends. The disadvantage of starting as a friend is that you're his friend. You're starting in the friendzone and it's hard to push your way up. What's the best way to start a friendship with any person? Similar interests. Try to sign yourself up for SOME (!!!!) of the clubs he's in. Make an effort to talk to him outside academics. I know it's hard. Don't be the stubborn duck on the fence. Friendship is about compromise! Sometimes the easiest way to see the guy outside of school is a school hosted event, like a school play or a choir concert. Stop trying to be friends so that you guys can date later on. Ulterior motives are one way to crush a fully functioning friendship.

Q4. How do I stop myself from over analyzing?
A4. Hah, I have this problem a lot. I've realized that if you don't inject your own emotions and thoughts on the event then it'll be easier. Over analyzing usually happens when you twist the event into something that fits in your master scheme of all things. Ooh, he waved to me. That must mean he saw me in the crowd of hundreds. He must care about me. He must like me. He just waved to you and that's it. The rest is all emotions. It helps to write down the events (like the wave) in cut and dry language (no emotion) and show it to a friend. Hopefully you're friend isn't in love with the same guy or super cynical/optimistic and can help you see if he really does like you.

Q5. Most creeperish thing you prevented yourself from doing this week?
A5. So today, I was flipping through a calculus textbook (not for fun, don't worry) and found a little green pack of sticky notes. I pulled them out to see a number scrawled in a guy's handwriting (or I guess a really messy girl's handwriting). I stopped myself from calling the number. How creepy would it be so be like "hey, so I found your number in your old calc book? heheheh"?

Q6. Best way to get over someone?
A6. Time. And chick flicks and ice cream and cookies and shopping and friends and other movies and reading Moby Dick and listening to your English teacher and doing calculus. Haha, try that whole list out and see what works for you. Ultimately, it's time. Time can heal any wound.

Well I hope you enjoyed that! If you have any questions for me comment below!!! 

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