Annoying People. . .

Hello everyone! I hope you guys are all at a healthy emotional level. My weeks to come are incredibly busy so unfortunately that means less blogging. I write in very particular situations. I can't force that imagination to come to me. I just have moments where I want to sit down and just write. Sadly, the stress is getting to me. I do want to wrap up Scarf Boy but it's simply not a priority right now. All I ask is that you hang in there with me. It will come eventually.

I just have another rant today into the world of the blogosphere. It's becoming sunny but my friend L needed to heat up her lunch so we went inside this math classroom. This particular classroom is a pretty popular hang out spot (no judging). My group of friends decided to stay here partly because a group of sophomores took our usual hangout spot. It just happens that TG walks into the room too maybe three or four minutes after we do. His friends are in this room too so it's not all that surprising. I think I've said this already in another post but he is friends with all my friends too. So our little group was talking about Home Depot and how much I love Crate and Barrel (it's such an awesome store!!!!!!!!! I could spend my whole life in that store...). I accidentally hit my lunch container and it fell.... I really can't control my actions and emotions when I'm around him. My face is terrible at lying. Even if I say a lie, my face and expressions give the whole thing away.

Happy Oscars!

Hello everyone! It feels like I haven't been here in a long time. Well I went got new glasses that look almost exactly the same as my old glasses. I returned to my volunteer after a long break and I just had a mental collapse. Those kids are crazy! Half of them were absent too yesterday. Then I went to go see a movie with S at his house. We're neighbors if you didn't know. His mom was incredibly nice! It was fun because I enjoy S's company. He's a great friend to have. I just don't want him to like me as more than friends because that'd just make everything awkward. I was going to leave around six and one of his family friends came over. He was around his mom's age, so maybe around late thirties or early forties. S told me that they were going to take a walk. Their walk lasted like ... 2 hours? Is that weird? I don't know if that's weird or not. Maybe his mom really likes exercise but I've gotten some questioning glances from friends. The family friend told me "we decided to ask to join us for dinner" after they returned; and I thought that was so strange for a second there. I of course declined. I've never met S's mom or this guy before. And today he tells me that he's watching a movie with his mom and that his mom asked if I wanted to come. Um strange much? Ah whatever, I'll burn that bridge when I get there. Guys are so confusing.

On another note, today was a marvelous day. It was really sunny and hinting at spring once more. One of the little girls at church was selling hats, scarves, and bracelets for her compassion project. She's sending $37 a month to a seven year old boy somewhere in East Asia. I can't remember which country. But it's a really great cause and her mom helps her sew and knit these things (especially the bigger scarves and hats). I helped her out and it was a fun way to spend half a day.

Today is also the Oscars! Random note there. Oscars fashion is always interesting. Hope your Sunday was splendid!

Artsy Gifts!

Hello! It seems like my "art" section is finally coming around. I just have a simple but special craft today. Lately, I've been noticing that the sickness is still going around. If you have any sick friends, this gift is perfect!

Materials:
1 Mason Jar (this was an old honey jar). My jar was big enough to fit about 3 of those quote stickers distantly placed. (I forgot to take a picture of the third side. Sorry!)
2. An abundance of sticky notes & tape (I used a lot of regular green sticky notes and then I had some of these fun quote bubble sticky notes. If ambitious enough you can make your own quote bubbles out of paper)
3. Lots of "filler stuff" that's good for sick people. This is entirely up to you. I chose some vitamin powder drink thing (it tastes okay, I promise!), cough drops, Dayquil medicine, soap, and alka seltzer (eewww but it works). I didn't have tea but I know that tea is a staple for sick people.

It's very simple from this point on. I wrote a little note on each item, or set of items. Like I wrote one note explaining what the fizzy vitamin drink was on one pouch of it. My green sticky notes were too big so I cut them up into fourths and used a fair amount of tape. This craft is super easy and only took me maybe 20 minutes. During our Secret Santa at church, someone gifted their secret santa three huge jars with all sorts of cool stuff packed in. The jar is a fantastic way to show someone that you care and want them to get better.

You can put different stuff in the jar, like candy, magnets, stickers, etc for different occasions. The project lends itself nicely to just about every event you can possibly think of!

I love jars if I haven't mentioned before. They're just so useful in craft projects. I hope this little artsy gift inspires you!

On another note, I asked TG to prom as friends today. One of the most nervewracking things I've done in a very long time. He had to go make up a Latin quiz so we were standing awkwardly by the tennis courts. I think the tennis team was too busy playing tennis to observe us. At one point, his Latin teacher walked outside and said he was going to the copy room and would be back in five minutes. I made a yes-no game. I'm not sure if you guys have played it before. I hadn't. We did do this at my Korean school volunteer last week so the idea was definitely there. I drew a bunch of foods and the point of the game was to say "I like" or "I don't like" and then I had a couple yes or no questions. I asked the prom question last... I don't know if TG suspected anything but he did say yes. And then we had an awkward hug hehe. Everything feels sort of surreal.

I know yesterday I said something about fate hating me. It sort of does but it also has a big picture planned for you. I know I always forget that part because it's hard to focus on the big picture. So I hope you a wonderful evening of happiness and sunshine!

Fate Hates Me Part II

Hello everyone! Happy Wednesday? Or is it? I'm just going through one of those times where you don't want to exist. I'm not suicidal, I promise. I am simply annoyed at where my life has progressed to at this certain moment. It's not an abnormal thing. Everyone faces one of these patches sooner or later. I feel immense pressure and stress and I hate it. I'm trying everything to de-stress but it doesn't seem to be working yet. But that's not what I'm going to rant about today. I just want to rant about fate, again.

Movie Date!

Hellllooo everyone! I had a pretty awesome weekend! Today is going to be all about pop culture. As you may suspect already, I do not have a Scarf Boy for you today. I'm sorry but the creative energy has been drained out of me. I'll explain more later. Here's a little about my busy weekend. So I hung out with S on Friday for about an hour. It was slightly awkward because we aren't that good of friends but it was still fun. I've missed company. I also went to the optometrist and realized that my vision is becoming really bad. On Sunday I went to get coffee and bubble tea with a church friend. Today I went on a movie date with a friend in my English and math class. We've become friends pretty recently but it's not awkward being around her :) My mom hemmed up my dress because it was a little long and now I love it all that much more. I apparently lost some weight and so it's a little big now, but I don't mind!

Single's Awareness Day

Hello everyone! Happy Singles Awareness Day!!!! Or, I guess for you lucky couple, happy Valentine's Day. I am truly alone this year. I had take out because both my parents are busy having social lives. I had a great day by myself though. I watched movies, ate ice cream, and watched Project Runway. I might do some homework now, but I have 0 motivation. I really wish I had a cat.

But if I ever do have a boyfriend, I want every day to be Valentine's Day. Well, not in the fact of receiving stuff. I wouldn't expect flowers and jewelry and all that every day but why shouldn't any day be full of love? I'm not a big believer of Valentine's Day. Why does this one day have to be full of nice and sweet things? Wouldn't you rather have a random day to celebrate? Why fit into the norm and conform? Hehe, that rhymed.

On another note, I've recently become friends with this guy, let's call him S. S and I have a class together and we're becoming better friends! It's really exciting because I've never had that many guy friends. He seems really excited? (I don't know that the right word is) to talk to me. We stood outside after a school meeting for about twenty minutes. . . I had just imagined a quick goodbye. We have a friendship composed of teasing and light hearted jokes. We're really different people. He's more of a serious, tired, doesn't smile much type of person person and I'm an energetic ball of enthusiasm. Today he just randomly asked if I wanted to practice this type of speech outside of class. I really do need practice on impromptu speaking so I said yes. And then he brought it up again and so we scheduled something for tomorrow afternoon. We talk about movies a lot and somehow our talk of movies became a "let's watch movies every week" so I hope he doesn't think that I like him or could like him? I'm probably overanalyzing everything but. . .  I don't want a great friendship to end based on misunderstandings. A different friend did like him and she said that he wasn't in search of a relationship so hopefully we're on the same page. :) I guess it's odd for me to have a guy friend and I sort of automatically think that if they try to spend time, it's definitely because they like me. If I had had more guy friends growing up, maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal... ah whatever. We'll hopefully never burn that bridge.

Maybe if I wasn't so completely alone on Valentine's Day, I'd feel differently about this holiday. I've eaten a ton of junk food today. . . I've had cupcakes, chocolate, ice cream, and even macaroons. It's a great day to indulge, if nothing more.

Much Ado About Nothing

Hello! This day has been oddly relaxing and the best part is that I have time to blog! I wonder if you've missed my sassy book reports. I've only down maybe one or two but guess what? That's right, it's back! Today we'll be talking about Winter Dreams, a short story by Fitzgerald. He's one of my favorite authors but this short story made me terribly sad.

Scarf Boy Comes Back

Hello everyone! I hope you're having a good day. I'm having a relatively decent day. A lot of seniors are on this annual trip to Olympus Park Institution and so I had a party in math. Or... more like my two friends and I had a party in math! It was one of the greatest math classes in the history of math classes ever. So anyways, I finally finished installment two of Scarf Boy! Yay right? It was exciting for me. I also watched Wreck It Ralph finally and that movie just made me cry and smile and be crazy all at the same time. I highly recommend it to anyone out there. Watching movies usually is comforting! I do have a quick rant today. It'll only take a couple sentences, I promise.

Happy Lunar New Year

Happy lunar new year everybody!!! It's that time of year where my family makes 202837918273 phone calls to relatives in Korea. I wish I could visit them but alas I have school. Today I wanted to do a little "state of the union" type thing to just update about the ins and outs of my life. Maybe I'll do this on Sundays, we'll see.

In: 

The color mint 

Sunshine and warm weather!

Spring clothes! So excited to bring out all the pretty & bright skirts!!! 

The Awakening by Kate Chopin

Cute animal drawing phone background 

Singles Awareness Day

Bubble tea 

Nice people who walk you home

Out:

Cold weather

Thick winter sweaters (unless it becomes cold again...)

Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton 

Pastel mushroom phone background

Valentine's Day

pizza

Nice people who always say "maybe" 

Music that I like: 

Sunday Morning by Maroon 5

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Everybody Talks by Neon Trees

You Got Me by Colbie Calliat 

Lovely Wonderings

Hello everyone!! I know I skipped a whole entire week. I'm sorry. I was extraordinarily busy. I am barely functioning but it's been a very exciting week. School is now officially in full progress with tests, quizzes, and essays everywhere. I am happy to be back at my computer. I am sleep deprived and I've given up on ridding my face of dark circles. However, I am in my natural habitat and there is nowhere else I'd like to be. If aliens took over and observed all humans like we observe zoo animals, they'd be so bored with me. I'd like to share a little bit about my week in musing style.

Confused

Hello! I'm looking forward to a crazy week, which sadly means less blogging. I'm really sorry! I like blogging too. I know today is Monday but I thought I'd give you an update of my own life. I know it's not as exciting as a Monday Memoir of an installment of my Scarf Boy mini series. I don't want to publish something that's not done yet. The second installment is almost done. I promise it'll be done by this week even if nothing else get's published. . . my life is weirdly hectic right now. It's never ever been this busy before.

Today was an exceptionally fun day! I guess the thing that made it exceptionally fun is that I finally had a long awaited Korean lesson with TG. It's fun to hang out with him beyond "the obvious reason." I haven't hung out with friends in such a long time. I miss a social life. I miss seeing movies not alone at 12 am. I miss eating out with friends on a Friday afternoon and going window shopping. I guess I miss company. As I was complaining about how miserable it is to watch movies by myself at this preposterous hour, he tentatively suggested that we could go watch a movie, as long as it's not a rom-com. He adds at the end that he doesn't really like movies though . . . But if things go as planned (crossing my fingers!), I could be looking forward to Wednesday night at a public speaking showcase with him. I have a really amazing friend who somehow found my blog that gives terrific relationship advice. Her advice mainly consists of "calm down."

He just confuses me. I know he's doing all of this because that's the type of person he is but it really doesn't help with my feelings. He's part of choir and choir is doing something on Thursday and he needed to practice. So I enthusiastically said that I'd watch because lately my mind has not been functioning. Of course it's Valentine's Day, so he picked "the twilight song" by Christina Perri, which is actually called A Thousand Years. After about maybe forty seconds, I just couldn't take the awkwardness. Maybe he didn't feel it but I tend to feel awkward at just about everything. So I asked what song it was and that's how the whole movie conversation got started. It's hard to be logical in this kind of situation. I want to allow myself to just innocently fall for him but I know my own obsessive nature by now. I just don't want to dig myself into a deeper hole because I know that he doesn't like me. I get hurt so easily because I impulsively throw away that knowledge to pretend that something could happen.


I guess another thing is that all these things add up in a logical way to other people besides me. In my past two er crushes? infatuations? my brain would go haywire trying to bend normal things into some proof that my feelings would be returned. It's hard to keep trying convince myself that TG is like this for every single girl; because I don't want to. There is a very thin layer that I'm treading. It could break any time and I'm so afraid of falling into a pit of despair all over again. It's difficult to relinquish control over a situation, even if it's control you never had. I have no idea what to do or what to even expect. All I can do is to try to go with the flow.

On Sunday, I had time! Isn't that amazing? I decided to watch a movie. I watched Letters to Juliet and I actually didn't feel that bad about my life. Perhaps it's because I had somewhat of a functioning social life when I saw it. Maybe I shouldn't watch these types of movies when I'm completely alone and miserable.

Weight loss goal for summertime: 6 pounds. I don't even know what I am doing wrong. I just gain weight and gain weight and gain weight. I promise I won't count calories or be on the verge of anorexic. I'm going to strive for a healthy way of weight loss that can be applied to my life. I'm thinking of cutting down on the snacks... like cheese crackers with 219037201973102 calories... haha. I like food :) but I was talking to my church friend and she also said she has gained about 5 pounds. So stress eating is normal. Yay? hahah...

Humans are Not Objects

Hi everyone! I hope you've always had a great week. I've had a very tiresome week. I have another public speaking competition tomorrow! Whoooo first time parliamentary debating! I just wanted to discuss this new app that's come into the App Store and Android Play Store. It's called Lulu and I hate it. The idea is okay I guess but I just dislike it so much. Basically it's an app where you can rate guys that you don't even know. Their information is somehow transferred to the Lulu database from Facebook. Is that even legal? I just hate the idea of "rating" people. You rate objects, not people.