Thursday, May 8, 2014

Not #feminsim, #equality

In the midst of AP testing and all this ball drama, I've been pretty stressed out. Nothing stresses me out more than guys and some of their insensitive comments. I don't want this blog to turn into a feminist rant but some things must be shared and thinking must be altered. 

During Spanish Class:
There's these two guys who sit next to me in Spanish. One of them is pretty nice (E) but they pretend to hate each other and sometimes it turns violent. I never hear the mean comments that L (the other one) says and I only see the violent reaction that E has. But today I caught a bit of something L said as a clear insult: "You have two pairs of chromosomes." For you guys who don't take bio, he's just hinting that E is a girl. 

E wisely quipped: what's wrong with that? 

I'd like to ask everyone that question. WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A GIRL? There is NOTHING wrong. I'm so tired of being part of the "subordinate" gender. That is the basis of feminism. The feminism movement is not saying ANYTHING about women taking over the world (okay, there are some extremists) but rather having equality amongst genders. 
The ball situation:
Okay let's get some background going. So L (different L lol) and I are booking limos for everyone because I like to plan stuff and she's great to work with. It's so much more difficult than I anticipated because no one knows what the heck they're doing/planning/going to plan. Everyone seems to want something different and at a different price. I'm so sick of it and I'm becoming that terrible manipulative control freak that I can be sometimes. Well the story starts with J. J is a senior and a lot of his friends are going with my group and we are trying to figure out limos. 

J is super shy and I guess that means that you can't even approach people. I guess that means that it's acceptable to ask a girl to ball through snapchat. I guess that means it's acceptable to delay everyone's plans because of your own shyness. Shyness to that extent is crippling and people need to find ways of dealing with it. You are going to have to converse with people all your life. It's better to take small steps of boosting confidence and trying rather than having your friends baby you and tell you that this is perfectly acceptable. 

Anyways. I have a friend named K who I've become pretty close with. They talk occasionally in music theory class and they know each other. Plus he's awkward with every girl ever (he turned down like 10 girls...) so it doesn't even matter at that point. She knows a lot of seniors and everything but . . . nope he can't ask her. He has to ask some other girl who is really shy and didn't even go to her own prom because she's not into parties and dressing up. 

I was trying to organize K and J but this is what his friend recently sent me. 

Let me give you three reasons why you should stop: 1. J is a MAN 2. This is America and he has his freedoms 3. This is annoying

1) I was just trying to be freaking considerate. I like plans to be done. Prom forms deadline is next freaking week. It kind of takes a long time for ANY GIRL to find a dress and get ready. 

real 1) A MAN. a man? Okay. If he was "a MAN" he should be able to ask some girl without so much nagging from everyone. J is the type of person who decides if he wants to ask a girl the morning of. Like what? Second-- I hate this terminology. A MAN? What does gender have to do with this? It's like saying: "You're a silly girl, go away. J can handle himself as a tough guy." Not only would I whoop his ass any day, but he's also making my life so much harder. This is not FREAKING Passage to India or Heart of Darkness. No, this is the 21st century. I demand my equality now. I would still get on any person's case to this extent regardless of gender. 

2) America. Ah yes, America. Freedom has rules. You can ask whoever you want but the clock is ticking. Get on it! I do understand that I've been clingy and annoying but you can't pull the America card on me. This sounds like something someone ignorant about America would say. 

3) Oh really? This is annoying? I hadn't noticed. Do you think I like talking to you any more than you like talking to me? This guy promised me that J would ask my friend K like two days ago. I'm catering my limo plans so that you are sort of happy. Why shouldn't you help me? I'm just as frustrated as you are. Get the damn guy to hurry up. 

This is why we need EQUALITY in the world, not feminism. This kind of relates the post I made a couple days ago about check your privileges. I'm pretty sure a white guy would not have these kind of setbacks. He doesn't have to prove to people that his gender is NOT SUBORDINATE. If a guy were doing my job, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't come across as annoying and bitchy. I'm pretty sure he'd be seen as helpful and nice. These are the kinds of little privileges white males have. I'm going to learn how to rule the world of politics with an iron fist at Smith. Oh, one last thing. J is scared of me. I enjoy that way more than I probably should. 


  1. I agree. Those guys were being pig-headed. Which isn't cool, ever. I did once yell across a room at a guy who said a girl must be PMSing because she made a strong (and very true) statement. I told him that it wasn't cool, wasn't funny, no one was laughing, and to next time shut his mouth. Luckily, people agree.

    Something I would suggest though: Instead of telling him to ask someone, give him a deadline of when you have to know, and tell him you will give a reminder a day beforehand. If he doesn't respond, exclude him with an iron fist. Regardless of gender, this is a rule of class. It is HIS job to reserve his spot... he is a "man" after all, no? ;)

    1. Ah yes! More ladies should stand up for one another :) I hate it when guys say a girl's justified anger is due to pms.
      I can't even work with that group in any way. x.x

    2. It's really just an incorrect fact. I suffer from PMDD, aka super-bad-awful-gets-me-passes-for-killing-people-literally PMS. I did a ton of research on PMS/PMDD because of it, and a small percentage of girls are actually affected by PMS. It isn't something that should be used as a general behavior excuse, though. Like, the girls who suffer from PMS are very easy to tell apart from the ones who don't, once you being to pay attention. One bad day in five months that happens right before your period doesn't equal PMS. But there's so much shame around even talking about it, it's no wonder some girls don't believe it exists and guys just think it's a joke. -.-


  2. Oh my lovely blog you have. Congrats on this one. This one is a lot better than the previous one. I mean the layout. Well I gotta go right now. Just felt like saying a little Hiiiii. :D I am adding this blog to my reading list. :)

    1. Thanks so much Ridx!!! I felt that it was a needed change.