Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Goodbye San Francisco, Hello Seoul!

new hair! I love bangs. 
Hello everyone! I know I haven't been posting at all recently. Life has been very busy and I honestly don't know what to blog about at the moment. I hope all that will change once I receive some stimulus from Smith!

I've been taking two Chinese classes in order to master basic Chinese. In my free time, I've (of course) been shopping. I've only been here for one week though! 

Every day from 10 am - 11:50 am, I have class. This day class is scary. Everyone is so intimidating and I shake due to fear of messing up and failing.. This class has about 9 people. I work on my accent so much but improvement is so insignificant. No one realizes I've lived in the US for most my life though which is a success! 

On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I have another class at 7:50 pm -9:50 pm. The night class is so much fun. It's much more conversational and there's no fear of messing up. There's only four people and the teacher is so cool! The environment is very relaxed and during breaks, we gossip about celebs (I really need to catch up on celebs..) and she (the teacher) tells us the best places to drink beer and eat street food. I think I'm of legal drinking age here but I'm such a square. There's this one guy in my class who is at least 3 years older than me, but really attractive. He is so nice to everyone and he said my voice was cute haha. I'm like the little sister of the group. I love this class. 

I have a lot of plans going with some family friends and even some of my own friends! I'm meeting up with some girls who are going to Smith in the fall and some old church people :) I'm excited! 

So I guess it's time I shared another little story of my past-present. Let's call him A. He confuses me a lot. This story is pretty long so click below if you want to read.
When I first moved to California after 8th grade, I didn't have any friends. It's the same case with most people who move from one place to another. Of course I still had friends back home but it's not the same. You can't casually hang out anymore and conversation is stifled by that empty space just hanging there, like an elephant in the room. I went on a church retreat before even really attending the church. I didn't know many people there but people are generally nice once you peel back the steely exterior. I hadn't even noticed A before in church (the few times I had attended), but somehow at this retreat, he caught my attention. We were paired for this egg toss game and he was so nice about my lack of any physical skill. We practiced with pine cones and were graceful in the midst of defeat. We talked briefly, here and there, but it would be a far cry to say we were friends. I was roommates with this girl who was obsessed with him. She was having a melodramatic breakdown, so I tried to cheer her up by saying he was cute (I was the new girl after all). She got super possessive and I backed off immediately. His brother was attending the school 10 mins from the school I would attend and it made logical sense that A would also attend the same school. 

I thought I saw him in the hallway on my first day of school but I didn't pay much attention to that glimmer. My eyesight is pretty bad after all. We had world history class together and I was surprised, to say the least. We became semi-friends and he was always nice to me when I saw him at church. Things got weird because I was a strange freshman. I don't understand myself which is probably a bad thing. He invited me to a couple church events and I always said an apologetic no because I really didn't want to go. So I started avoiding him but at the same, liked him. I don't know how to explain what freshman me did. For some reason, I was totally crushed by him and hoped that I didn't have any classes with him the next year. He moved to boarding school in Connecticut. Yes, that really did happen. 

I got my wish but it was bittersweet. He was kind of the first person I actually really liked (in that freshman way). I forgot about him and his existence junior year because of TG and S. I don't think I was ever able to tell S about A. He told me about all his past crushes but he was a super jealous person and I couldn't tell him about A. 

After breaking up with S, his name popped up on my facebook chat list. I tried to talk to him a couple times during freshman and sophomore year but he either didn't respond or responded with those generic one word responses after like an hour haha. I didn't expect him to respond and I had a bit of crisis where a friend consoled me and told me to send a message. We talked for like 20 mins of actual good conversation. I was very doubtful of his genuineness.I couldn't tell if he actually wanted to talk to me or if he was just being polite. He was saying how if we ended up at Smith/Amherst, we could be in the same classes. When I mentioned Berkeley, he said he got in too and that we could possibly have classes there. I feel like that's not something you would say out of polite duty. 

We talked once a month and here's the funny part. 

Every time, I think he's out of my life, he comes back. I know it's not fate. I know that, okay? It's just weird and too much of a coincidence. We are at least fated to be friends. I decided to go to Smith and he decided to go to Amherst, which is 20 mins away. 

We're both in Korea at the moment and are scheduled to meet on the 17th. I changed the date four times on him because of my schedule that keeps getting busier for random reasons.There was a lot of opportunities to say no, especially with the date changes. So maybe he isn't that opposed to seeing me again. I haven't seen him since freshman year and it's kind of nerve wracking to think about seeing him in person. 

I still feel like he'll maybe cancel on me like the day before or never respond or something. A similar sitch has happened to me before. Wah, we'll see. xx


  1. Hey there, I nominated you for the Sunshine Award

    1. Ah thank you! I will do it shortly :)

  2. Hi, I just checked out your blog and I think it's very interesting! Plus, it looks awesome XD.
    I can really relate to Chinese, lol. I live in Indonesia but am of Chinese descent. I usually speak English and Indonesian, because I go to an international school, but I'm pretty slow in Chinese XD. It makes me impatient sometimes!

    Anyways, I blog over at www.whimsicalyoungster.blogspot.com , where I write my musings and such. Feel free to check it out if you want XD

    1. Hi! Thank you for the compliments! I also checked out your blog and it seems very cool. I'll have to read your more specific posts later, but I too love Rainbow Rowell.
      Oh my goodness... Chinese is the most difficult language ever, ever.