Hmm, I haven't done a state of the union in a while so I think I'm just going to summarize a couple + points in my life.
+Vampire Weekend! <3 I absolutely love Vampire Weekend! They're upbeat sort of sarcastic music is growing on me and some really good study music!
+Google plus hangouts! Perfect for a late night econ study sesh
+Snapchat filterssss! so coool!
+exercise! (I've gained so much weight.....)
+Dress shopping! (all them junior girls are excited about dress shopping and I have to wait at least another MONTH, no fairrrrr)
+notecard making > studying (hehehehhe stat)
Enjoy the story!
Small town, Big Me
Hans hands me
the first paycheck. I haven’t been doing anything, except learning. It’s hard
waking up that early but I’ve mostly gotten used to it. I’ve met most of the
quirky townspeople while working my shifts. I haven’t met most of the bumheads
who wander in because they’re not married or they’re waiting for these legendary parties to begin. Ashley still
hasn’t given me more information on those. I haven’t found out anything more
about Hans or Ashley and Ray has only visited me once, merely to pick up
coffee. For a guy who was so interested in me earlier, he hasn’t followed up.
Maybe he decided that my story was just too much for him.
“You’re doing
well,” he says, snapping me back to reality.
“I haven’t
visited Betty at the bookstore yet but I will soon. I need to read up on
mechanics to learn how these machines work.”
“Go easy
tiger,” he says playfully punching me. “It’s your first week here. You can
afford to slow down.”
“Thanks Hans.”
Ashley isn’t in the office yet and it just feels a lot emptier. “How are you
related to Ashley?” It’s about nine in the morning and the busy morning coffee
rush is over. The smell of distinguished cologne
has finally disappeared from the confines of the café. “Is she your
girlfriend?” A bemused smile rolls across his face.
“No, not
exactly. We’re old friends and bound to get married one day.”
“Oh,” I say,
trying not to make it obvious that I’m disappointed. There’s no chance I would
settle down here but it’s still disheartening to hear. “Did you guys go to the
same high school?”
“Yeah, I left
for college, just the state school over the hills. I came back when they needed
a new owner for this place. Life isn’t exciting but it’s nice around here. What
about you? What is a young, pretty girl like you doing in this town?” I blush,
against all my efforts, and push hair back behind my ear.
“You think I’m
pretty?”
“Is that all
you heard?” He laughs and I can’t help but to laugh along, as if I’ve forgotten
everything.
“I moved here
because I needed to slow down,” I say, tempted to repeat his words. “I’ve
always been a tiger.”
“That doesn’t
surprise me.” Hans doesn’t ask any more questions and I look at the machines
once more. I wonder what he does all day, what anyone does all day. I hear the
bell ring and my attention buzzes. We haven’t had a single customer after the
rush between seven and eight. Most mornings are slow. I peek up and cross my
fingers that Ray wanted a coffee, or just to see me, during the morning. I
can’t imagine that he actually has patients in the morning, or ever.
“That’s
Mindy,” Hans whispers to me. I immediately turn around but realize that Ashley
isn’t at work yet. Ashley fills me in on who everyone is and some juicy bit of
gossip that Hans usually doesn’t include in his introductions. Usually none of
the more exciting people turn up in the afternoon hours.
“Good
afternoon, Mindy.” She’s by herself but I can already tell that I don’t like
her. I’ve met almost the entire town in my first week but very few people have
been around my age. Mindy has reddish orange hair and almost everything about
her is a scarlet tint. Her dress only comes to her mid thigh and her ruby red
heels are frighteningly high. I haven’t seen anyone here dressed like that. I
shudder at the memories it brings back. I’m back to wearing “mom jeans” in a
faded blue color. I can tell Mindy is judging everything about me. I look out
the window and see her cherry red convertible parked outside. Girls like her
are dangerous and usually bad news.
“I’ll just get
the latte with whip cream.” Her voice isn’t nasally and annoying as I thought
it would be. She’s still full of hot air and herself.
“Mindy, you
know we don’t have that, yet.” Her eyebrows almost have a seizure when she
hears the yet. She leans up close to the counter and Hans looks like he’s
having a good time. I wonder if she’s still in high school.
“Daddy says .
. .” she starts to say. I tone it out. I’ve met too many girls like her. “I
graduate this year.” Her story is just as predictable as anyone else here,
except maybe Hans. He just has an air of mystery to him. I can’t figure him
out. Mindy, on the other hand, is a younger version of Ashley with a lot more
money. She’ll be part of the PTA club and buying thousand dollar dresses to
make up for the lack of excitement and fulfillment. She’ll marry someone like
Ray’s uncle right out of high school.
“Brie, c’mon,
are you there?” I blink a couple times and realize that I have a job to do. “She
ordered a decaf with whip.” I nod and press the button. Three minutes later,
the coffee is done and I pour the cream on. I hand the coffee to her and she
doesn’t give me another look. Hans rings up the order and chats with her for a
couple more minutes. I wonder if he’s into girls like her. We don’t say
anything.
Ashley
saunters in around twelve thirty. She’s wearing dark sunglasses and looks like
she had another rough night.
“You can’t
keep doing that,” Hans says in a low voice. I take it as my cue to leave. I
know Ray usually goes to the diner to eat lunch so I head over there. I blame
it on the friendless situation of this town but deep down, I know it’s not so
innocent. The waitresses exchange glances once I come in. I can see them
picking straws to see who’ll take my order. I’m not popular around town but I
didn’t realize that I was this hated. I look around casually but Ray is nowhere
to be seen. I sit down in the far corner and wait for someone to give me a
menu.
“Have you seen
Ray?” I ask the waitress even before she hands me the menu. “I haven’t seen him
much.” I saw him last week but that’s not important in the long scheme of
things. Hilda, today’s waitress, wears an apologetic look as she asks me if I
want anything to drink.
“Sorry Brie,
he hasn’t been here in a long time.” Hilda avoids eye contact. Ray isn’t
popular around here either. We don’t have that country feel or the satisfaction
from living here. I order a small plate of eggs and an apple cider. None of the
other people here are alone. I wish I had friends, anyone to talk to. I leave
half an hour later. Any longer would be a crime to these people. I walk to the
little bookstore around the corner. Betty is engrossed in another book and I
try my best not to disturb her. The selection of books is small but there is no
other alternative. I pass the section with cookbooks and the paperback romantic
novels. From the corner of my eye, I spot a mechanics book in almost perfect
condition about coffee machines. What are the odds? I take out a fiver from my
ratty purse and pay her.
“Good catch,”
she says looking up from her book. She’s a frail old lady and yet we do the
same amount of work. I walk back to the apartments and run up to the second
floor. Elevators make me feel uneasy. My legs feel restless from the lack of
exercise in the morning. I sit on the bed and start reading about how to make
lattes and operate the machine.
I wake up with
a startling jolt. The watch reads two, in the morning I presume. The phone is
ringing. I barely get any phone calls but there’s something that prevents me
from cancelling the contract completely. Who in the world could be calling at
this time? I sit up and try to think back to when I fell asleep. The mechanics
book is still open and the light is humming in the background. I grimace while
thinking about the gas bill for this month. I let out a sleepy yawn and the
phone stops ringing. I hop off the bed to turn off the light when the phone
starts ringing again. It’s probably an emergency. I have no choice but to pick
up.
“Hello?” Anyone
could tell that I just woke up.
“Hey Brie,” I
can hear a familiar voice. I can almost see Ray with a childish smile, just
waiting to say ‘Hey Brie.’
“Ray, what do
you want at this time?”
“You never
finished your story.”
“I was work in
five hours!” I can hear him laughing in the background.
“You sound so
serious, city girl.”
“Well I did
get a job in the past week.”
“I tried
calling before! You didn’t answer.” I figure that’s probably true. Even if my
job is barely strenuous, I’ve still come home exhausted. “Can we meet
somewhere?” I take a deep breath.
“There’s
nowhere open.”
“Your house.”
Is he trying to pull something? My suspicion spikes up but I’ve missed human
company way too much.
“Fine, ring
the doorbell when you get here.” I try to comb out my hair but like usual, it’s
not cooperating. I pull a sweater over my nightgown and put a kettle on the
stove. Exactly twelve minutes later, we’re sitting at the kitchen table
drinking tea. I only have two mugs and two chairs so it’s partly fate that I
never have any guests over.
“What do you
want?” I ask, letting out another yawn.
“I was bored,
city girl.” He’s in his work clothes and looks as nice as ever. I’m a
bedraggled mess, literally.
“Is the city
girl thing going to be a norm?”
“Yep.” He
doesn’t look tired at all. I wonder why he can’t call me at a normal time like
any other person in this town. “So we have a story to continue, don’t we?”
“I don’t know
where I left off. Can we just eat lunch somewhere tomorrow?”
“My stomach
can’t take another beating at the diner.”
“Can’t you
come over for lunch at my house then?” He and I both know that I would’ve never
let him in if he called at one in the afternoon. Ray has a devilish grin on his
face. He’s enjoying this moment way too much. I sigh but know that there’s no
point in resisting. “Where was I?”
“You just
finished childhood and now you’re getting to how and why you’re here.” His
voice is animated and lively. I’m a bit jealous to be honest.
“This is a
very long story, so I’ll tell you one part, okay? And then I need to sleep.”
“Fine, fine,”
he says taking a long sip of tea. “Don’t you have any biscuits?”
“Why are you
so demanding at two in the morning? Anyways. Let’s see. I couldn’t go to
college because I had almost no funds and Talla was threatening me. There was
only one logical thing to do. I pretended to give up on college and scoped out
my real mother. It took a few months of research to find anything solid on her.
Her name was Abigail Peters and she retired from the show biz. She was working
as a waitress in Los Angeles and I knew this was my one-way ticket out of this
hellhole I was in. I laid low for a few more months. I stole fifty dollars
every two weeks and soon I had enough for a bus ticket and some emergency
funds.”
“Are you
serious? You left San Francisco for this unknown dangerous place at fourteen?”
Ray has a better memory than I gave him credit for. He did go to college after
all.
“The plan was
to have her take me in and raise money somehow for a college education. We can
see that worked out swimmingly.”
“Did you find
her?”
“Of course. Of
course I found Abigail Peters with a bit of luck and Google searching. She was
horrified that I was there. She didn’t even really remember me until I
graphically described the events that had taken place when she was a showgirl. Abigail
lived in this ugly trailer by herself, which was sort of a relief. It was
stupid of me not to call her first. I was, justly, worried that she’d tell me
not to come. She was my only hope, except in my memory she was an angel figure.
You know, with streaming blonde hair and a golden heart. I had made up
incredulous stories about her and how she was a secret agent that was
pretending to be a showgirl. At fourteen I was too naïve.” I pause. I don’t
know why I’m telling him this. I don’t know why I let him in. I had a resolve
not to talk to him ever again. I need a new friend, I realize once again.
“You can’t
just stop there. Where’d you go?”
“Well I lived
in Los Angeles for exactly six months. I convinced Abigail to let me just stay
in her trailer for three months. I was hoping that as my mother she would feel
sympathy and compassion for me after a set period of time. She may have been
apprehensive at first but I believed she would come to love her only daughter.
I was wrong and after three months she kicked me out.”
“What did you
do for the three months that you were there?”
“Abigail
didn’t remember my name and during this point in time I was Gina Sweetie. It
sounds just like a name a hooker would choose,” I say with a little smile. “I
tried taking some classes at community college but it didn’t go down so well. Even
those classes are expensive for a kid who doesn’t have any money. I was saving
my money like a maniac. I didn’t trust Abigail enough, and for good reason. I
was on the news a couple times because my father was extremely worried that his
genius child had been kidnapped. I’m sure the search would’ve gone longer had
Talla not existed. I don’t think I would’ve left home if Talla hadn’t existed.
Abigail did me one favor though by not turning me into the police. I mostly
worked at the restaurant Abigail worked at and learned what it was like to live
in LA. There was a steep learning curve. Gina was a sweet girl who was too
innocent for her own good.”
“There are
scholarships though and grants and other ways to get to college.”
“I didn’t even
have an address okay? I didn’t have any of my school records with me. To anyone
else who met me in LA, I was basically a run away.” I am always defensive about
college. All these savings are going towards that anyway.
“Okay, sorry,”
Ray says. His face is pinkish and it’s sort of endearing how embarrassed he is.
“So did you go back home once Abigail kicked you out?”
“No, I became
someone new. I was incredibly hurt when Abigail told me my three months were up
and that she was going to call the police on me. I was Isla Peters after that.
Isla was still fourteen, nearing fifteen, and had no place to go. Los Angeles
is a scary place, especially for a homeless kid. I was lucky though. I hung
around a flower shop all the time because it was sheltered and in the middle of
main street LA. There aren’t many other slums or homeless people there. The
shopkeeper, Diane Winslow, was a compassionate lady who could’ve been my
mother. I’m sure if I were her daughter, she would’ve just taken my word for
it. Diane gave me a home and a job. We lived right across from the beach and it
was one of the happier times in my life.”
“Why did you
leave Diane?”
“I had to
leave.” I turn away from him momentarily.
“Describe Isla
to me.” He seems to sense it too. He leans back but his hands are so close to
touch. I don’t reach out.
“Isla, the
girl who loves the beach. That’s who Isla really was. I would arrange flowers
in the morning and sometimes carry a basket out to the people on the beach and
sell them. Isla was a beautiful girl—,” I start to say. I can smell the ocean
breezes and the way my hair has tangled up, but in a natural wave like motion. My
feet are buried under the hot sand as I sit there contemplating everything. The
seagulls cry out above and circle the air just like lifeguards. People are
shouting everywhere but I don’t hear anything except the calm and serenity of
the ocean waves.
“You are
beautiful,” Ray says with more conviction than the first time he politely
complimented me. He never saw me as Isla. I would do cartwheels along the sand
without any care who saw my underwear peeking out from the long skirts I always
wore. I always greeted the people peddling cotton candy and life vests along
the ocean. Ray reaches out and holds my hand. I freeze and time stops around
me. I forget about Isla and the life I had by the sea.
“I went
swimming every morning and wore flower crowns on my head. I was the type of
girl you see on the cover of fashion magazines and the one that tourists ask
for pictures with. I was carefree, Ray.” He holds my hand tighter. “I never
wore shoes despite the warning signs depicting broken glass and bloody feet.”
“Stop it,
Brie. Brie, Brie.” The lull of his voice brings me back to the present. I shake
and his hands move to my shoulders. Can’t see that my memories hurt me? Can’t
he see that at all? “Brie, you don’t have to say anything more. Come here.” It’s
three thirty now and all signs of logical function are gone. I stand up and sob
into his shoulder. I barely know him and yet here I am. I’m not Isla anymore.
I’m not carefree. I’m not free. The
tears come gushing out. I know that I’m Brie now and Brie doesn’t cry. Nothing
make sense to me anymore.
“Shhhh,” Ray
says. He leans to kiss me and I impulsively reach out to touch him. Our lips
touch but he jolts away. He runs his fingers through my hair and we don’t talk
about what just happened. His voice is calming and I feel myself dozing off. I
don’t want to remember any more. I don’t want to remember any more.
I wake up the
next morning with puffy eyes. I’m in my own bed and I freak out when I see a
sleeping Ray next to me. We’re both fully clothed and I feel a sense of relief.
I shake him awake and glance down at my watch. It’s seven thirty. There aren’t
any missed calls but I know this time is the rush hour.
“Shit, what
happened?” He seems almost disappointed that I’m still wearing a shirt.
“I’m not
sure,” I lie. “I have work though.” The emotional girl is gone. In her place is
the regular Brie I’m used to. I brush my hair a couple times and change into
faded jeans and a long red shirt. He leaves with me and I see the mugs from
yesterday. We walk to work together but neither of us says anything about the
events that have taken place.
“I’ll see you
around,” he says with a little smile. I try to smile back, but I can’t. Hans
doesn’t seem angry and I watch in awe for a moment as he works the coffee
machines. It’s hard to believe that a man of that capability and acumen can’t
make a latte. I wonder why Ashley doesn’t work the register. He definitely has
a more complicated story than he cares to share.
By week three,
I can finally work the coffee machine into submission. I’m making lattes and
all sorts of cool drinks that weren’t available before. Business is booming and
Hans seems proud of me. I slowly teach Ashley in the afternoons when there
aren’t any customers. She’s coming in to work by eleven in the morning now.
Things seem to have gotten better. In my three weeks here, I haven’t had any
run ins with Mindy. I rarely see Ray. After that one night he barely ever calls
me anymore. Sometimes he comes to pick up his coffee and check in on how I’m
doing. He’s the only person in this whole town who orders his coffee black. He
doesn’t ask about my past anymore, which is a good thing.
“Do you want
any help with the people around town?” Ashley asks one afternoon. She can make
lattes and other frothy drinks now. We’ve added some caramel and vanilla to our
toolbox. Hans still doesn’t talk much. I haven’t learned anything new about
either of them.
“Who exactly
is Ray Concha?”
“Now you stay
away from that boy,” Ashley says. Her calm demeanor suddenly flares into rage. “Stay
away from Ray. I know he seems like a nice guy but he’s not.” I think back to
the way other people cower in his presence.
I wait for Ashley to continue.
“I’m friends
with Ray, Ashley, relax.”
“How much has
he told you about himself?”
“He told me
about his uncle,” I challenge her. “He seems really open about everything.”
“It’s not your
story to tell,” Hans abruptly interjects. “Ashley, do not tell her.”
“Tell me
what?”
“Do you want
to know why Ray came back to this town?”
“His father
needed surgery but they didn’t have money. Ray’s only here as long as his uncle
is out of town.”
“That’s partly
true,” Ashley begins to say. Han’s face becomes pale with anger.
“Ashley! Do
not tell her!”
“She is part
of this town too. She deserves to know.” I feel shivers running up my spine.
What could possibly be so bad? “It’s true that his father needs surgery and
that his uncle is a complete scumbag. Did he tell you about college?” Hans
begins to rap his knuckles against the counter.
“Yeah, well
sort of. We skipped that part.”
“That’ll be
enough Ashley! Get back to work!” It’s the first time I’ve ever heard Hans
yell.
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