Friday, April 18, 2014

"Wife Material"

Hello everyone! I know I promised you a musing Tuesday but life got really hectic and I was running out of juice. April has been a month of emotional lows. But now, I'm sitting in my yoga pants ready for that musing. The time has been flying past but day to day life is incredibly difficult. There's a lot of backlash about my personal decision to choose Smith so it upsets me that I can't quite commit yet. Perhaps you guys are also wondering why in the world I would choose a small liberal arts, all women school for a "prestigious" school like Berkeley (maybe not, but basically my whole family is like "what's wrong with you?"). I loved it at Smith, absolutely fell in love. I loved that I could talk to anyone on campus about the problems of feminism, the world, education, etc and people cared and had such intelligent remarks. That's the kind of environment where I can grow and develop into a woman leader for the new global world.  My mom is like "their stats are lower" but I saw a campus full of young women who are so bright and want to be there. Professors are so passionate about what they believe in and teach and the small class sizes allow you to interact much more. Whether it's just a question about the course or questions about life, they're there to answer them and help you out. The house system is magical! You have advice from people of all lengths and grades to be supportive when you need them. I would be really sad to give this all up just so that I can have four years of people saying "oh my gosh, wow." Life has a lot more to offer than the outside views of people.

I was talking to a friend and his sister, who happens to be my closer friend, and he's also deciding between Berkeley and a great liberal arts school. He is a quirky guy who has a lot of humor and never thinks before he speaks. He was asking me about Smith and if I've completely decided yet. At the end, he added how Smith and Wellesley (another girl's school) were schools where you find a wife. A lot of guys in the outside world think that girls from these schools are down for anything and have no standards because there aren't any guys. Oh my god. I think his sister was kind of surprised at how angry I got/what a ridiculous comment her brother made because she's also thinking about a women's college.

Well first of all, a women's college was made to give girls the equal opportunity to go into the world and pursue whatever they want. When I was at Smith, I felt an overwhelming feeling of everyone being proud of who they are. It's a weird feeling to be surrounded by a huge group of girls who aren't catty, who don't hate each other, and who all want to see each other succeed. That sounds like an amazing four years to me... Everyone is there for an education, not to become wife material. There's such a double standard regarding that. When a guy says they're going to college, no one says "oh cool, you can learn how to become such a good husband." No, they ask "oh wow, what do you want to pursue?" Now, there is a lot more equality now. I've never heard this comment before until today. I'm definitely not going to school to find a husband. No way.

Second of all, guys should all be afraid of Wellesley girls. They send more girls to Harvard Business school than ANY OTHER SCHOOL. These girls are ready for business, literally. They have a sharp edge and aren't there to learn how to cook dinner for some ceo husband. No, they're there to become the CEO. While Smith doesn't have that business-y edge, it's a place to learn how to become a leader and confident in oneself.

On a lighter tone, I started watching Steven Universe (Rebecca Sugar from Adventure Time parted and started her own show!) and it's awesome. I highly recommend. That's about it for my rant. Have a lovely weekend. xx


  1. I'm glad you're standing strong! :) Going to college just for a husband isn't always a good idea. I've heard of many horror stories. Because my family is conservative Christian, we know many who went to Christian colleges (for missionary work/pastoral education/husband finding/stuff) and a few women came out with men who, only a year or two after being married, came out as gay. :/ Not shaming anyone, but it has to be an awkward situation, and sometimes taking those years to get to know yourself is better, much better. :)

    You'll make the good choice for you, and I'm sure you'll go far! :)

    1. Going anywhere to find a husband is not always a good idea haha.
      Thank you for your encouragement! I always wanted to go to a huge school in New York but I realized that after college I would just be 21... I have all my life to experience the excitement of a city. Smith just seems like a really good place to get myself together.

  2. I'm in awe that you're going to Smith College!!!

    I can't understand why someone would think the bluestocking-y women who pick a female-only college would be "easy". If anything, I'd think they were the empowered, "own your own sexuality" type.. And since when do guys who need to classify women as "easy" ever stand a chance with them? They need more respect for women, and themselves, if they want to even be considered. If they assume all women go to college just to find a husband, I don't see how they were smart enough to get into higher education...
    Awesome post :)

    1. Thank you!! :)
      I agree completely. I'm so glad that MOST people don't think this is an acceptable comment.
      There's always been backlash about women in college, which led to the creation of colleges for ONLY women. The world needs to accept that women are just as brilliant, intelligent, and charismatic as men. My parents are all worried that if I go to a women's college, I won't have social skills to compete with men. Blasphemy! You carry your confidence and love for yourself wherever you go.