Fate Hates Me Part II

Hello everyone! Happy Wednesday? Or is it? I'm just going through one of those times where you don't want to exist. I'm not suicidal, I promise. I am simply annoyed at where my life has progressed to at this certain moment. It's not an abnormal thing. Everyone faces one of these patches sooner or later. I feel immense pressure and stress and I hate it. I'm trying everything to de-stress but it doesn't seem to be working yet. But that's not what I'm going to rant about today. I just want to rant about fate, again.


I hate when you plan something so perfectly and it goes wrong haha. I'm sure everyone hates this but it's happening to me so often. It's not even funny anymore. I plan something and it seems to be going great until even hours before. I even made sure at 11 pm that this would be happening. But at that time and place, some freak accident happens and it ends up not working out. Sickness hits and it sucks to be me. What are the odds? I hate when something you can't control ruins your day.

I made TG promise that we'd have a Korean lesson today so that I could ask him to my junior prom. He's a senior so if I want to go with him, I have to ask. I made a simple yes, no game involving Korean haha. Everything was set up and it seemed like for once plans would work out. But no. Some odd form of sickness has to appear, out of nowhere. I'm being really bitter. I was also being really stupid. Since he was sick, I decided to get some medicine and other stuff pertaining to colds (cough drops, tea, hand sanitizer, etc) and dropping it off. I am terrible at following directions so I wandered around for an hour and went in a huge circle. It takes four minutes by car to drive to his house but takes 30 minutes to walk. I gave up eventually and wondered why I have such a bad sense of direction.

Is fate trying to tell me something? And how do you know if you're even fighting fate? Here's a scenario. What if you aren't supposed to eat the cookie but you do because you feel that this is a defiance of fate. (My brain is barely functioning...) You feel terribly sick afterwards. How do you know if your fate was to eat the cookie or to be sick from eating it? I think the idea of defying fate is silly. But I really really really do hope that everything will work itself out somehow.

My friend made me cupcakes and they were so beautiful and delicious. I ate one for solace even though I really can't afford to be eating stuff like that now. Perhaps the one cute thing that happened was a message he sent me right after I told him that I could visit with medicine. He said that if I got a cold because I was trying to walk to his house he'd feel responsible. I love it when text messages can make you feel that much happier.

Hopefully he comes tomorrow :) I don't want to ask him anymore though. Have you ever felt that you need to do something at a certain moment in time? It seems like that little patch of bravery stays on for only a limited amount of time. Time is up and now I am starting to feel a little sick myself.