Annoying People. . .

Hello everyone! I hope you guys are all at a healthy emotional level. My weeks to come are incredibly busy so unfortunately that means less blogging. I write in very particular situations. I can't force that imagination to come to me. I just have moments where I want to sit down and just write. Sadly, the stress is getting to me. I do want to wrap up Scarf Boy but it's simply not a priority right now. All I ask is that you hang in there with me. It will come eventually.

I just have another rant today into the world of the blogosphere. It's becoming sunny but my friend L needed to heat up her lunch so we went inside this math classroom. This particular classroom is a pretty popular hang out spot (no judging). My group of friends decided to stay here partly because a group of sophomores took our usual hangout spot. It just happens that TG walks into the room too maybe three or four minutes after we do. His friends are in this room too so it's not all that surprising. I think I've said this already in another post but he is friends with all my friends too. So our little group was talking about Home Depot and how much I love Crate and Barrel (it's such an awesome store!!!!!!!!! I could spend my whole life in that store...). I accidentally hit my lunch container and it fell.... I really can't control my actions and emotions when I'm around him. My face is terrible at lying. Even if I say a lie, my face and expressions give the whole thing away.
L described my feelings towards him perfectly: I sincerely like him. I've never been one to fall in love. I always climb the ladder down thinking that I'm in love. I obsess and reinterpret things just because I want everything to line up with what I want (i.e. that wave isn't simply a sign of hello, it's a sign that he secretly likes me). I'm not doing that kind of thing with TG. I'm actually slowly relinquishing control of a situation: allowing myself to fall. I'm not saying I'm in love with TG because I'm not but the things I do and say with him are sincere. The first thing I notice is that I accept fact for fact but maybe that's because these facts are so much greater than the ones I had invented. I am just so happy spending time with him. My plans rarely ever work out and yet things happen. To fall in love is to say and admit that you don't have control over a situation but you're happy.

L needed a fork and I needed to go to the bathroom so we both left. From the corner of my eye, I saw him slowly leaving this group to go back to his friends. He's close friends with one of the other girls in my friend group so it's not like it'd be awkward. When I returned, he was playing limbo with his friends. (In Geometry, they have this unit where they make small objects huge with a precise scale. They were playing limbo with this giant pencil). I'm sitting on top of a desk facing the window and the desks my friends are sitting on. After their game is sort of over, TG comes back and moves L's backpack. Her backpack was on the desk that was next to mine; in other words we were sitting next to each other. I do concede that it was one of the few desks open and we were sort of sitting a circle. I wish this was the end of the story. One of TG's friends comes over and I turn around and see that he's sitting in the desk that I'm sitting on top of. This guy didn't even tell me that he was going to sit here. He just was. And the only person who he talks to is TG. I was more than annoyed but what could I do? So I move to another desk and sit next to one of my other friends. The bell rung shortly after and I walked out of the classroom with the friend I was sitting next to and TG.

Random fact of the day: the guy who stole my desk was also the guy that I liked last year... Except he pays way more attention to me this year. Like on Friday, he asked me if I could teach him Korean citing TG as an example of why I should. I just played it off saying "I don't have time" which is true. This same thing would have made me so happy last year but it seems like I've recently discovered how annoying this person can be. It's funny how you notice flaws and terribly annoying habits once you stop liking someone.

I tried to glare at him during math but I don't think he understood. I'm really awful at glaring and frowning in general unless I'm actually upset.

I'm not 100% annoyed at the fact that he took my spot next to TG. It's the way he stole my spot that bothers me. Couldn't he have at least asked or told me that he was sitting there? Not only that but he just sort of ignores the fact that I was sitting there and immediately starts talking next to TG. He doesn't acknowledge anyone else in this circle. Why did he feel the need to include himself in this circle if he doesn't want to talk to the rest of the people there? He could've just asked TG to talk to him at a different spot, or sit in the desk across from TG and start talking to him.

My friend L noticed that TG has been spending more lunches with our little group. Right now it's simply an observation. I'm not taking the risk jumping to conclusions. Maybe this is what an actual crush is supposed to be like.