Whirlwind Romance

Hi guys. I know, long time no see. It's summer and I was having a terrible Thursday which led to a terrible Friday which led to a weekend in anticipation and fear. Today is the first real day of summer and it's nice. I ate lunch with my dad and watched a movie with my friend D (she has a fashion/style/nail polish blog at muddypanda.blogspot.com so I'm going to shamelessly tell you to check it out). We watched Now You See Me and it was a pretty good film, full of flashy lights and a plot twist. I've managed to read Gone Girl and The Bell Jar this past week and they were both wonderful reads. I highly recommend both! Would you guys like in depth book summaries? They aren't quite my thing but I'd be happy to recap. Today I stopped by this used book store right next to the library and picked up a healthy mix of trashy and intellectual reads.

I guess I am avoiding the elephant in the room. I don't know if I really want to blog about this. My mind is still having a lot of hiccups. On Sunday morning (~4am) I was feeling sort of desolate about the events that had taken place on Saturday. I decided to play that age old question game thing. The last time I had done this was in eighth grade to find out who this guy liked (it was not me and I almost had a breakdown). As we were playing the question game, he would just add random facts that I didn't ask for. Some of those facts pertained to situations where girls liked him and he was so dense he didn't know. That hurt. I could also tell he was slightly not over his Canada friend and that also hurt. After all of this I really wanted to distance myself back to being a strictly platonic friend and stop with all the questionable elements of our friendship. Well by Sunday night, I was pissed off at him. We were just talking about our day in general (I had such a fun time at IKEA!) and somehow we were talking about prom (him saying how much he doesn't like it). He said that there was only girl he'd be okay with going to prom with (if she asked..). I had to know who. Curiosity gets the best of me. There was a point where I was just guessing every single girl that was his Facebook friend. He wouldn't tell me (I did guess myself and he said no) and it felt like I had been slapped. I would've told him everything but here he was saying he couldn't tell me this because he didn't trust me. After all that, he said that he'd tell me if I really wanted to know in person. I respected that and said he didn't have to. I didn't want to force him into telling me against his will. I left it mostly alone until this morning when I asked if I knew her. Then I just had to know.

That led to a slightly awkward confession time. And you guys can guess where it went from there. I don't know what's going to happen, at all. I don't know if either of us are ready or have time for a relationship. I just don't want things to change.

Nostalgia

I love my friends. They are truly the greatest people anyone could ever ask for.

I had a really awesome day today. How many people taking finals can say that? I am really sad to let this year go. I'm barely holding on and it's a losing battle. It's inevitable to hold on to the past but I am quite bittersweet to be done with the year. I had amazing teachers and fantastic classes. I will miss Junior year with all its struggles and challenges and joys and smiles. I know I already posted something like this but the days are ticking down. Today I had journalism and public speaking finals.

In Journalism, we had an hour just to hang out and study and sign yearbooks. I was freaking out about my tribute speech in Public Speaking. The next hour was spent playing softball outside in the cold. I was really grumpy about this and just wanted to stay in and practice my speech. Our Journalism class has maybe 3 or 4 guys and a bunch of girls who don't even know how to hold the bat (including me...). We were playing against Sports Med. It was that stereotypical scene in any movie about high school. Sports Med had like 3 girls and 20 guys and they were all super tall, super buff, super fit. As our Editor-in-Chief noted, these guys were people who played basketball in their free time. I guess you could sort of say it was nerdy writers against sporty jocks. We knew we would get our butts kicked going in BUT somehow we tied them. I was screaming my head off in such excitement whenever we'd get a point or one of our players would catch the ball. It was a really intense game and I'm so proud of everyone in Journalism. That was definitely a good way to spend the morning.

San Francisco Beach Trip!

Although many, many things went wrong today, I had the opportunity to spend a lot of time out in nature with my family. It was so hot today and on a whim, we went out to the beach near San Francisco. It didn't feel like the type of beach where you lay out picnic blankets and read magazines while suntanning, but rather the type of beach that gives you depression in the morning and refreshes your brain by afternoon. I wore shorts and a tank top expecting to go to the warmer, formerly described beach. Instead we went on a beach hike and it ended up being really fun even if I was freezing. I really love the beach and the sound of waves crashing on the cliff. There were also some lovely views of the Golden Gate Bridge. It was a day well spent!