Hi guys. I know, long time no see. It's summer and I was having a terrible Thursday which led to a terrible Friday which led to a weekend in anticipation and fear. Today is the first real day of summer and it's nice. I ate lunch with my dad and watched a movie with my friend D (she has a fashion/style/nail polish blog at muddypanda.blogspot.com so I'm going to shamelessly tell you to check it out). We watched Now You See Me and it was a pretty good film, full of flashy lights and a plot twist. I've managed to read Gone Girl and The Bell Jar this past week and they were both wonderful reads. I highly recommend both! Would you guys like in depth book summaries? They aren't quite my thing but I'd be happy to recap. Today I stopped by this used book store right next to the library and picked up a healthy mix of trashy and intellectual reads.
I guess I am avoiding the elephant in the room. I don't know if I really want to blog about this. My mind is still having a lot of hiccups. On Sunday morning (~4am) I was feeling sort of desolate about the events that had taken place on Saturday. I decided to play that age old question game thing. The last time I had done this was in eighth grade to find out who this guy liked (it was not me and I almost had a breakdown). As we were playing the question game, he would just add random facts that I didn't ask for. Some of those facts pertained to situations where girls liked him and he was so dense he didn't know. That hurt. I could also tell he was slightly not over his Canada friend and that also hurt. After all of this I really wanted to distance myself back to being a strictly platonic friend and stop with all the questionable elements of our friendship. Well by Sunday night, I was pissed off at him. We were just talking about our day in general (I had such a fun time at IKEA!) and somehow we were talking about prom (him saying how much he doesn't like it). He said that there was only girl he'd be okay with going to prom with (if she asked..). I had to know who. Curiosity gets the best of me. There was a point where I was just guessing every single girl that was his Facebook friend. He wouldn't tell me (I did guess myself and he said no) and it felt like I had been slapped. I would've told him everything but here he was saying he couldn't tell me this because he didn't trust me. After all that, he said that he'd tell me if I really wanted to know in person. I respected that and said he didn't have to. I didn't want to force him into telling me against his will. I left it mostly alone until this morning when I asked if I knew her. Then I just had to know.
That led to a slightly awkward confession time. And you guys can guess where it went from there. I don't know what's going to happen, at all. I don't know if either of us are ready or have time for a relationship. I just don't want things to change.
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