Regret & Suspicions
Willa
I woke up in a hot sweat again. I couldn’t stop picturing the break-in. Shattered glass was everywhere and I didn’t know anyone who would have enough malice to commit such an atrocious act. Entire bookshelves were toppled over and all the food in the fridge had been thrown on to the floor. The bedrooms were even worse. Clothes were strewn everywhere on the floor and the bed sheets had been dragged off. Pillows were nothing but shreds of feathers. All the awards Pop had won were gone. The beds in the four other guest rooms were neatly sawed in half. Was this some kind of joke? There was no note anywhere. There was no sign of Pop either.
I couldn’t stay at the house anymore. I was living with my Uncle Jerry for the time being. He was the only place I could go without revealing that I had no clue where Pop was. Scary things happened when a parent suddenly goes missing. It had been a week already but I still wasn’t used to his college apartment. I was just lucky that his roommates had recently switched places. The cabinets were full of beer and there was nothing but old celery in the fridge. There weren’t even frozen dinners or a can of soup. There was only one bed so I was sleeping on the couch. That’s how considerate Jerry was to his inconsolable teenage cousin. He said the bed was gross and I didn’t even want to linger about that thought.
“Willa,” Jerry said putting another wet cloth on my forehead. “You’re burning up.” I probably screamed or something. Jerry was barely twenty and didn’t know how to even take care of himself. He had just started university one or two years ago. I was a huge burden to him. Having a sixteen-year-old girl in the house meant no house parties, even Jerry knew that much.
“Sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Did you get any calls from your dad yet?” Jerry and Pop barely knew each other because of the huge age gap.
“No,” I said avoiding his eye contact. It was obvious how much he wanted me to be out of his hair. “I have this crazy idea though.”
“What is it?” Jerry sounded fearful. He was wearing glasses and his hair was unkempt. I hadn’t seen him wear glasses since he was in eighth grade. It was also two in the morning.
“My dad had this huge project coming up in Los Angeles. He might be there or something.” Even for me, it was outrageous. Pop was exceptionally excited about that project though. He wouldn’t tell me anything because all the information was classified. Jerry was waiting for more explanations but none came.
“You want to go to Los Angeles? What about school?” He supplied his own questions and I was pleased that I was already a step ahead of him.
“I can take my finals early, Jerry. I just have this hunch.”
“Who are you going to stay with?”
“A hotel really doesn’t cost that much. I’m fine with motels too. I still have a lot of birthday money left over.”
“Willard, do you watch the news?” I just rolled my eyes at him. No one ever called me Willard, not even Pop. He blamed the unfortunate circumstances of my name on the mother I never knew. “I’m not letting you stay in a motel.” That was perhaps the most adult-like thing Jerry had said. Jerry rubbed his eyes and opened the fridge. He pulled out a can of beer and I wondered how his liver was still functioning.
“What do you propose then? I can’t possibly stay here for the whole summer.” He scratched his head absently.
“Fine,” he finally said sighing out. I could already smell the beer roll off his tongue. “My good friend Sophie lives in California. I’m sure I could ask a favor.”
“You’d do that for me?” I was beaming up at him.
“We’ll talk about in the morning,” he said. He was groggy and I knew he was just going to fall asleep and forget about everything I had just said.
For the first time since I met Jerry, he was productive. He emailed all my teachers that my grandfather had passed away and I was allowed to take my finals early. The next afternoon I returned home to find a redeye ticket print out on top of the couch. I borrowed an extra suitcase from the dusty storage closet. One of the wheels was missing and the zippers were faulty but it didn’t matter. My bags were packed with everything that I was able to scavenge from the house wreck. I was leaving New York!
A week later, I was on an airplane to Los Angeles, by myself. The address and phone number of Jerry’s good friend was scrawled on my palm. School was over and summer was just starting early for me. Jerry was giving me two months to find Pop by myself. If that didn’t work out he told me he’d call the police. I agreed to it even though I had absolutely nowhere to start. The suitcase was being sent to LAX and my life depended on the single debit card Jerry had given me. He thought the birthday money plan was stupid.
I took out the pad of paper I jotted the stuff Lucille had told me about. That was still a mystery. Her perfect score came just a week ago and we never talked about the SATs again. She still didn’t know I was going to be halfway across the country yet. After that whole incident there was some newfound tension in our friendship. I still couldn’t believe she had just hired someone like that.
The air was hot but not humid once I landed in Los Angeles. I left the plane wearing khaki shorts and a bright pink shirt. Sunglasses were resting on top of my head and it felt just like a movie. Palm trees greeted me as I walked to the baggage claim. I wondered what exactly I had gotten myself into. Where was the first place to start? If nothing else worked out, I was going to have a fantastic vacation.
Arthur
I was standing at the edge of the lot with Sarah and Jean. Phil had left me with his annoying sister. It was too obvious that he was trying to set us up. I only agreed to the whole thing because I owed Sarah a huge favor.
I couldn’t help but replay that day I impulsively drove to Veronica’s house. It was maybe three in the afternoon right after school. The story started two months ago when I had received an anonymous tip that Veronica was taking other people’s SATs for them. Veronica didn’t attend my school but this was a big story about to blow up. It was convenient that she started showing up at the coffee shop I called my second home. She let me in with incessant begging. I think Veronica recognized me but I wasn’t sure. She told me her sister was coming home soon and I’d have to leave before then.
Her apartment was small and void of furniture. There wasn’t even an extra side table anywhere. The kitchen was composed of a microwave and a round table with a broken leg. Plastic chairs were leaning against the wall, folded up. The carpet smelt of something grungy and odd. There was no TV or bookshelf anywhere. Maybe she did belong in that coffee shop after all. Where were all those trashy paperback novels she brought with her? Where were her parents? What was such a beautiful girl doing locked up in a dump like this?
I asked her a couple questions for the paper and she told me to fuck off without betraying any emotion in her face. That was our second conversation ever. The first comprised of a little “yes” after I asked if I could come in. I left four minutes later after sending an update to my editor. The story was complete and I was on my way to journalistic fame.
“Arthur!” Jean yelled. I had forgotten she was even here. Jean hadn’t really been a part of his plan. The place smelled thickly of taffy, cotton candy, and some other deep fried concoction. The scent of sugar hung in the air. Seagulls gawked above the shoreline. We were standing in a parking lot dressed in flip-flops and shorts. Jean was fanning herself with the map of the amusement park. A hat pressed Sarah’s bangs against her forehead. We had been here for a while.
“What do you want to ride next?” I asked simply to interrupt the silence. Neither of them were interesting characters. Jean and I had English together last year and this was the first time talking to her since then. Where was Phil? I slid my phone out of my short’s pocket. No new messages. Jean and Sarah were already giggling, skipping along to the next ride. We were back in the busy world of rides, games, and food carts. People were milling about everywhere but I still managed to find Jean and Sarah. I caught up to them just to tap my fingers against the hot, metal railing in boredom.
“Hello,” a cheery girl said after tapping my shoulder. She was holding her map upside down in one hand and strappy sandals in the other. The soles of her feet were black and I tried not to grimace. Her hair was combed back and a huge ribbon was pinned in her hair. She was wearing a bright summer dress with reddish pink lipstick. There was something crazy about her that intrigued me. She was oozing character.
“Hi,” I replied back. The line was long but I didn’t mind it so much. “I’m Arthur.” She nodded but didn’t introduce herself.
“I’m actually just looking for the bathroom. I heard there was a place to wash your feet.”
“That wouldn’t have happened if you had worn shoes you know,” I said trying my best not to sound haughty or arrogant.
“Maybe you shouldn’t judge someone without knowing anything at all,” the girl said waving her sandals in my face. “I bought these when the plane landed but already the straps are busted! I’m not going to wear ill-fitting shoes. It’s the beach. Don’t you Californians walk like this to school?”
“No,” I said. I must have sounded offended because she quickly added a just kidding and playful punch. “I’ll help you find some shoes.” We both left the line and I had a feeling that something big was about to happen. It was a journalist’s intuition. Fuck off. I shook my head as if Veronica would just disappear.
“You never gave me your name.”
“I don’t want to give my name away.” Her face was buried in the mask. “What are you without a name?” I didn’t have an answer for her. She didn’t let me think. “Seriously though, Arthur. I basically own you now and I don’t even know you. Why would you let someone have this much control over you?” Maybe I met someone who escaped the loony bin.
“Fine, fine, here’s the bathroom,” I said pointing it out. She nodded enthusiastically and I waited outside.
“Are you here alone?” I asked as we walked along the sandy beach. Immediately after I asked I regretted it. How much like a pervert could I possibly sound?
“Of course not silly! I’m in California with my sister.” I sat down on sidewalk overlooking the beach. My feet were buried in mounds of sand and she sat down next to me. She fidgeted with the bow in her hair for a while before taking it off completely.
“How long are you staying?”
“I dunno yet,” she said with a smile. “It’s all up to my sister’s job.”
“Can I at least have a phone number?” I knew it was a long shot. Here was a girl who refused to even give me her name.
“Sure,” she said taking out her phone from the little bag hanging from her shoulder. She leaned her head on my shoulder and our arms entwined together. Something seemed so odd but not awkward. It was as if we had known each other all our life. I had only experienced that nice type of silence twice before. We didn’t need to exchange words to understand each other.
“Here you are,” an unwarranted voice said. She let go of my arm and bolted upright. Sarah was standing in front of us with her arms on her hip. I sighed.
“Who is she?” Jean asked. I looked at her but she was looking away at the beach, as if she hadn’t heard me. Maybe she really was from the loony bin. I waited another second but knew that Jean expected an answer. They’d never believe that she was a girl I met literally thirty minutes ago, even though they were both there when I met her.
“We’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Sarah whined into the open air. “You didn’t even pick up your calls.” What calls? I took out my phone and indeed there were two missed calls.
“She’s Hazel,” I said forging a smile. “She’s from an asylum so be nice to her.” She just smiled away. What kind of girl was this?
“You were being more than nice,” Sarah said huffing another complaint.
“Well I’ll leave you. I must head back to the mental hospital. We don’t like to call it an asylum, Andy.” She got up and left just like that. She was like a flame and I had just let her go. The sun was in my eyes as I squinted to see her shadow. I couldn’t do anything but watch, as she became nothing but a small blob.
Sylvia
The lab work was going well. I stared at the clock hanging on the wall opposite from my lab bench. It was about four and almost time to go home. Egan came around almost every week looking specifically for Logan. I didn’t know exactly what they were but I tried not to let it bother me. Why couldn’t I just have been happy for Egan and her new unofficial boyfriend? She was here today, like normal, wearing cowboy boots and a short summer dress.
“Sylvie! Where’s Logan?” I gave the lab a cursory glance before shrugging.
“I’m not his girlfriend, how should I know?” She looked hurt but only for a second.
“Are you jealous? Jealous girls aren’t pretty girls.” I rolled my eyes at her. When I did eat lunch with her at school, all she would ever say was dumb beauty advice. Couldn’t she understand that I didn’t care? I removed the goggles from my face and they hung low, sort of like a necklace.
“I have to get home early though. I’ll see you at school.” She nodded her head and took out a compact from her purse. From the corner of my eye I saw her reapplying lipstick. I hung the lab coat back on the brass hook near the entrance of the lab. I was past the staff room when I saw Logan.
“Sylvia, you’re still wearing your goggles,” he said in his aloof manner. I looked down and indeed the goggles were still hanging below my neck. I let out a nervous chuckle and quickly took them off. “I’ll take them back for you. Is Egan there?”
“Yep,” I said rolling my eyes. He laughed for the first time ever. It wasn’t one of his sarcastic laughs that were always meant to castigate my idiocy.
“She’s lucky she’s cute,” he said before walking away. What did that mean? There was no goodbye and I was left momentarily hanging there. I scampered to my feet and left Bio Life. I took the next BART home and wondered if my stepdad Gianni would be home. He was some Italian guy that my mother had met at salsa class. I hadn’t even attended their wedding. I lived with my mother in San Francisco only during the summer. I’d be back in the safe and quiet town of Palo Alto after school started again.
“Sylvie’s home!” A gaggle of excited voices crowded around the door just as I was trying to open it. My mother ran some sort of babysitting business. I wasn’t aware of all the details and I wasn’t really interested in much either.
“Sylvia, some boy named Nick called a while ago. I told him you weren’t home but you might want to ring him up again.” We had to be the only family that still used a home phone. I ran past her and straight into my room, my sanctuary. I clicked the redial button just after jumping on to my bed.
“We want to play with Sylvie,” chirpy voices said banging at my door. I ignored them all as the dial tones stopped and the sound of breathing was audible.
“Hello?” My heart skipped a beat. We were math partners, destined to sit next each other by fate and a computer program. He told me he’d call but I didn’t think he was serious. Nick Staten was part of a different niche in the high school world. High school isn’t so stereotypically divided to separate different groups of people. But you know who’s popular and who’s not. Nick was one of those people that everybody knew and liked. He wasn’t a football star or captain of the debate team but he just a likeable guy in general. He would always hold open the doors or answer questions from that one annoying kid that asks a bajillion pointless questions.
“Hi is this Nick?” I could feel my voice trembling. Horrified, I stopped speaking.
“Uhh yes, would this be Sylvie?” My mouth curved in to a little smile when he called me Sylvie. Only close friends and annoying toddlers called me that.
“Yeah my mom said you called earlier. I thought I should call you back.”
Veronica
My eyes jerked open but I was still in that dark storage room. It was just like one of those terrible movies. The obvious bad guy was wearing all-black and he had even taken great measures to find black, bulky gloves. His voice was raspy and I couldn’t discern much about his facial features due to that black ski mask type thing. Life usually didn’t have such a huge distinction between good and bad. What was I? I was the epitome of a gray area. My wrists were chaffed from the rope binding them to the chair. It was obvious I had been drugged and there was still a bad taste in my mouth. There was only one memory replaying in my mind, over and over again. I was screaming at the top of my lungs while a petrified Melanie stood in the corner, sobbing. I couldn’t even offer her a single tissue. He called me darling and I attacked him. It wasn’t much use though. He was almost twice my size. My memory stopped after that point.
“You’re awake,” someone different said. Where was my black clad capturer? Was this some kind of prank? Things like this never happened. The garage door opened and sunshine streamed into the room. My eyes immediately closed, almost blinded by the light.
“What the hell do you want? Where am I?”
“Veronica, Veronica, calm,” he said in the most patronizing tone I had ever heard.
“Where is my sister?”
“Now we’re talking. If you do well according to the Plan, she’ll be safe and you’ll be returning home.”
“What the hell do you want me to do?” I felt a seething anger for this stranger standing in front of me.
“Veronica, your cursing makes it hard for me to address you. We need you to figure out a puzzle, that’s all.”
“How did you find me?”
“You can thank an Arthur Nichols for that.” Arthur? My gears of my brain started to whir rapidly. I didn’t know any Arthurs. He continued to speak after seeing my blank expression. “He was that annoying reporter that came to interview you. His story was never published but we finally got a hold of you.” He was responsible for this? I wanted nothing more than to thoroughly destroy his life.
“You can call me Finn,” he said with a smile. How could he live with himself? He untied me and as soon as my hands were free, I socked him. Finn was taken aback and he stood bent over, gasping for breath.
“You don’t have the right to call me Veronica.”
“You should know that I like exceptionally difficult girls. You’ll have to learn how to follow my rules now. I was going to lead you out of here but you lost that right.” With a push of a button on some remote control, the garage door came down and it was complete darkness once more. He left and locked the door behind him. I had no idea where exactly I was and they had taken away my sense of time.
“Melanie, I’m so sorry,” I cried out. For the first time in ten years, I was crying. I sat in that chair and pressed my knees to my chest. No one came back for a very long time. My stomach grumbled and I had never felt so sad or uncomfortable before. I managed to fall victim to more nightmares when the garage door whined open. My eyes weren’t as blinded by the light. It had to be a new day by now.
“Did you miss me?” He was holding out some sort of food on a plastic white tray. I looked longingly at it. It was impossible not to compromise everything I stood for. I felt humiliated. They had taken my dignity as a human being away from me. I wasn’t any better than a dog. They were dehumanizing me. My stomach was louder than my brain.
“Yes,” I lied through my teeth. He looked overjoyed. Finn handed me the tray of food and patted my head. I wanted to snarl at him but the sensation of hunger and pain were fresh in my mind. Snarling. That was also an instinctive animal behavior. Had I really stooped so low to this level? He left without closing the garage door, mocking me with an escape route that I couldn’t take.
He left and I stared at the food I was holding. There was a roll of white bread, a plastic cup full of canned peaches, a salad consisting primarily of uneven carrot bits and lettuce, and a bowl of black bean soup. I held the greasy metal spoon with a grimace before trying a spoonful of soup. It tasted like oily nothingness but I was too hungry to care. I just needed to be home somehow or another. I studied the surroundings of the garage. There was nothing else in the actual garage space except the chair. Flowers were blooming outside and the wild grasses were overgrown. I heard the chirping of birds and wondered for the umpteenth time where I was.
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